Using Envy Appropriately

“Ever tried, ever failed, try again, fail better.” -Samuel Beckett

There was an article that I read in the Wall Street Journal, dated April 26-27, 2014 that got my attention. In that particular article, there was a discussion about envy, resentment and motivation. It was pointed out that for example, in Facebook there are many posts about showing off, getting promotions, going to parties, having vacations in addition to many unaffordable activities. In a study last August, researchers from the University Michigan found that the more people used Facebook, the less satisfied they were with their lives. Not only that, in another Facebook study, researchers found that social media users exhibited more rampant envy.

Envy can be classified as either malicious or benign. An individual person can either be motivated by another person’s success and strive to emulate it or employ putting down that person’s success-perhaps a rationalization about the advantage person in some sort of distorted comparison. This suggests that envy can either be a personal motivator in a positive way, or hinder the individual in a negative and self-defeating way.

A 2011 study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, found that when the researchers triggered feelings of benign envy as opposed to malicious envy in their subjects, these university students were motivated to want to study more and perform better on a test measuring creativity and intelligence.

So perhaps instead of having negative thoughts, envy and a poor me attitude, it might be better to ask oneself “what’s holding me back? I can perform too.” Once again, this article implies that it is important to know oneself and instead of externalizing or rationalizing one is likely to be better off with self-reflection and then changing the negative thoughts or ideas. More than likely it is the individual that holds himself back as opposed to something external. I am clearly not putting down Facebook. I’m using Facebook to illustrate that if you’re having difficulty with envy, look inside.

Perhaps, in a later post, I might address the implications and dynamics of “a   showing off attitude used by many in social media.”

In the meantime, for your health keep moving, smiling, laughing, bonding, appreciating and loving.

Eppie's Great Race 2014

Our team, yesterday, competed in the world’s oldest triathlon. It was the 41^st running of Eppie’s Great Race held in the Sacramento-Rancho Cordova area. I started the event by running approximately a 10K (less than an hour) along the American River, finishing at Sacramento State area. Then I met Tom Christofk and passed him the timing chip. He biked approximately a 20 K distance in less than 45 minutes. There, he handed the timing chip to Dennis Scott, who kayaked approximately 10K to the finish in less than an hour.

Dennis took the place of Tony Brickel who was home nursing his wife, Debbie from her horse mishap. For Tom and I, this was our first Eppie’s. For Dennis, this was his 35^th or 36^th Eppie’s. Our team did well in the 60 age division. We were all pleased. For me, running along the American River was a welcome change from trail running. I must admit that it is so much easier. Of course, running a short distance is another difference along with not worrying about tripping on rocks or roots.

For more about Tom, I refer you to our television interview: It Has Nothing to Do with Age or Gender: http://youtu.be/E7pVe44sqSA.    Further, Dennis has an interesting story as well and you can watch his TV interview: http://youtu.be/mHXJSzfZZnI .

In any event, keep moving, smiling, laughing, bonding, loving and appreciating.

PS

It was helpful to have my wife Linda, and Tom’s wife, Laura, as crew. Thank you, dears.

It Has Nothing To Do With Age or Gender with gust Michel Bloch

Jim Brandstatter- Bo's Warriors

In Bo’s Warriors, you’ll find this Foreword written by Jim Brandstatter.

When I first heard about this book, I learned that the focus was going to be about mental toughness. One of my University of Michigan football teammates suggested that I would be a good source for Frank to talk about the subject. I have no idea what medication, my teammate was taking at the time that made him so delirious as to suggest to me, but the cat was out of the bag, and Dr. Frank and I began our journey.

We talked about my life. We talked about football. We talked about things totally unrelated to mental toughness. We talked about my college coach, Bo Schembechler. We talked about my friends on the team.

As time passed, and I spoke to some of the other guys who Frank had been interviewing, I realized that their experiences had been similar to mine. Not only that, but Frank was working these guys as hard as he was working me. Based on the conversations I had with my friends to help Frank with the book, I knew this had to be more than a how-to manual on developing mental toughness. It was morphing into something else. It was becoming a story of young men developing into young adults

.

I have often been asked to speak about my time as a University Michigan football player and the lessons I learned from the game, and my coach, Bo Schembechler. Yet I have never felt that I have done a great job of it. It was such a powerful time in my life, but is difficult to impart to an audience the incredible impact it has on me to this day.

I believe “Bo’s Warriors” can accomplish what I have failed to do in my speeches. What I think you have in your hands is a snapshot of history. It is a look back at this country in the late 60s and early 70s, is viewed through the eyes of us 18-to 21-year-old jocks. We were in the middle of a very unpopular war, racial tension was boiling, the drug culture was taking over college campuses, student unions were being occupied by militants… there was Woodstock, free love, free Angela Davis, burning draft cards, and burning bras. Meanwhile, with all this tumult bombarding us, we had to play football for a tyrant named Schembechler. How in the world did we survive? How in the world did we win a game? And how in the world did we learn lasting life lessons amidst the confusion?

That’s the story you are about to read. When we saw the world crumbling around us, we had a pillar of strength to grab on to. When our life began to spin out of control, we had a safe haven. We had football. In football we knew where we stood. We had Schembechler. Sure, he was a conservative taskmaster. He did not like the counterculture, and the counterculture despised him. He did not suffer fools; it was his way or the highway.

But he demanded more from us. We delivered-sometimes grudgingly, but we delivered-and amidst the chaos came order, success, and growth. In that moment, the group, through fate or providence, came together and something really positive happened. The blueprints were college football, but the architect was Bo.

PS

Last Thursday’s guest on It Has Nothing to Do with Age or Gender was 100 K US champion, three-time Western States 100 winner, NCAA polo champion, etc. Tom Johnson. I think you’ll enjoy his interview.

In the meantime, keep moving, smiling, laughing, bonding, loving and appreciating. It’s good for you.

It Has Nothing To Do With Age Or Gender with guest Tom Johnson

Bo's Warriors-Mike Keller

The following post is a Foreword from Bo’s Warriors written by Mike Keller.

Moving from a small Midwestern town to a huge university and premier institution of higher learning, and athletics, how could I realize what was in store for me? While excited for the challenge, I was quite certain that someone entrusted with offering me a full ride Grant-in-Aid scholarship had made an awful mistake. I did not feel that I belonged among the nationally recruited football players who would become my teammates. My thoughts on that were, “Well that’s not my problem, I will get a great education and set my path firmly in a positive direction for a career in…. who knows what?”

All of that changed in December of my freshman year. Our head coach, Bump Elliott was being “promoted” within the athletic department, and we were to meet our new head coach, Bo Schembechler. In that first meeting, among other things, we learned from Coach Schembechler that we were soft and undisciplined, with a national reputation as underachievers. “Well, boys,” he said, “that is all going to change!”

In hindsight, that first Schembechler team at Michigan set the tone for a new and continued level of excellence for Michigan football. When youngsters decide to play for Michigan today, they know they will play in the greatest stadium in college football, in front of the most loyal fans and alumni, will prepare to play at the finest facilities, and be taught by a great coaching staff.

I would not change anything from my four years in Ann Arbor. There were great victories as well as crushing defeats. As young man, we were taught to live with both-not only as football players. But as people, with an eye for what the world would hand us in the decades after we played. Our dedication to our Alma matter is unshakable-as are the bonds of friendship we developed in competition and the driving force that mold us: coach Schembechler and his inimitable staff.

Every day. I was thankful for the men who will always be my teammates. I’m thankful for my coaches, Gary Moeller, Jim Young, to whom I have not expressed my appreciation enough over the years. Most of all, I’m thankful for having a chance to play for Bo, who helped all of us learn how good we could be.

My life’s journey has not been one anchored in the college of LS&A or Michigan Law School, although Michigan, academics taught me how to think and organize. My career has been in professional sports-as a player, scout, and administrator, providing opportunities to hundreds of young men and women seeking the dream of working in sports. As my career winds down, it is altogether fitting to look back at those early days, in Ann Arbor. When I wondered, “What am I doing here?” Fortunately for me, there were those who believed in me. It’s always a good time to pass it on.