Escaping Isolation

Man enters our Milky Way galaxy alone, small, insignificant with unmet physiological requirements, anxiety or tension levels and unable to survive on his own. This essay pertains to the difficulty of being alone and man’s attempts to escape his isolation. Because of man’s design, such factors  as primary drives, needs, activation levels, reinforcement patterns, expectations and of course anxiety are  a few key components in understanding man’s psychology.

We begin life alone, dependent, helpless and with anxiety and/or tension activation levels. If not for another, we are unable to survive. Our basic physiological drives for food and water are examples. We are unable to meet those requirements, without a caretaker. Beginning in this fragile state, the infant, at first, is not able to associate or discriminate exactly how the anxiety or tension levels are reduced. But with development, he begins to form a cognitive schematic, and begins to associate and develop expectations for a reduction or increase in activation levels of comfort or discomfort. The infant clearly learns  that being alone is associated with anxiety, tension {non pleasure} and non-survival; and being with another can be associated with less anxiety, tension {pleasure} and survival. Erickson refers to the stage as developing a sense of trust versus a sense of mistrust. Consistency and regularity with feeding, diapering, touching, talking to, affectionate responses etc. are important characteristics for the caretaker. Caretaker responses can also be irregular, punishing, rejecting, disparaging attitudes, non-kept promises, inconsistent, rough, loud, withholding, overprotective etc. So, what we have here is conflictual since the baby does not nor ever have the full attention or optimum care provided by the caretaker. As a result, of the many positive and negative reinforcement schedules, a cognitive expectancy or pattern of likely expectations or outcomes becomes developed and engrained in the psyche of the youngster. In other words, he experience positives and negatives within interpersonal interactions. Regardless, all humans develop and require needs - strategies to escape the anxiety produced feelings of isolation, helplessness and rejection.

As a result of man’s isolation vulnerability and anxious state, one manner of escape becomes the need for affiliation. Affiliation, becomes, for the infant a major building block for one’s survival. According to Murray, the need for affiliation is related to enjoyably cooperate or reciprocate with an allied other; please and win affection of another; and to remain loyal to a friend. With separation from the other, the results include the activation of anxiety and tension levels. Of course other psychological needs, and strategy behaviors or defenses are established to combat the requirement for survival too.

Within this context, if the interpersonal interactions become dysfunctional, the individual learns to withdraw, isolate and be unavailable with others resulting in a neurotic adjustment to life; or he learns to be aggressive, sadomasochistic, dominant, exploitative, passive and narcissistic in his establishment for power and prestige with others along with control and possessiveness in his interpersonal interactions. On the other hand, if the interpersonal interactions tend to become pleasurable with anxiety or tension reduction activation levels, the individual learns to experience affection, caring, respect, admiration, nurturance, and support in its interactions with another. Of course, there’s various depth and degrees of expression of these three general behavioral orientations. Obviously there’s no pure form or expression of these three orientations. However, it appears that the orientation to inflict pain on others predominates man’s behavior as evidenced by wars, murder rates, incarceration statistics, criminal justice violations, divorce and social media dialogue. The loving and withdrawing orientations behavior follow in frequency and kind.  Also entering the equation is the positive and/or negative reinforcement behavior of the caretaker or caretakers as well as the many interpersonal life positive and/or negative reinforcement experiences or history that follows. Regardless of one’s experience of negative outcomes, there’s still a push toward another encounter with another with the hope and illusion and expectation for a different outcome. Ones thinking process and behavior can also be considered an escape from loneliness or potential loneliness.

 Denying or distorting, the reality of insignificance, powerlessness, and loneliness prevails. It should be apparent that each individual brings to every interaction or union, an unconscious fear, anxiety or tension of being alone and the imperative need for attachment with another in the quest for survival as evidenced man’s active and/or passive behavior. That unconscious quest for survival is built-in based on our design by the underlying anxiety or tension component that has been exacerbated by the need structure of the individual. Another escape myth is that only “love” or “sex” or attachment to another can resolve this unconscious dilemma or fear. Other escape illusions, compensations and strategies to combat isolation include marriage, children, God, religion, politics, pets and other identifications. Additional escapisms to combat isolation include but not limited to are seeking drugs, using alcohol and food to reduce the anxiety activation levels. In essence, the solitude of life, or man’s nature, is an irreducible dimension of human life regardless of the many defenses, illusions and behaviors employed.

PS

A few other psychological needs generated by anxiety, insecurity and helplessness include but are not limited to  sex, abasement, personal achievement, nurturance, prestige, admiration etc. These additional need factors paint a more complete picture of the nature of Homo sapiens.

Being Healthy

Recently, Paul and I got into a discussion regarding health. Even though he is overweight, he argued that he was healthy based on  recent test results, low blood pressure and conversations with his doctor. I argued that being overweight was associated with diabetes, cardiovascular disease, cancer, senility, depression etc. With this in mind, an October 27, 2019 article in the New York Times “Obesity is a population-size crisis in Western countries-but it’s a problem that may resist population-wide solution “was pertinent to our discussion. This essay focuses on the variables associated with being healthy.

The New York Times article pointed out that obesity was like cancer. Obesity is about biology, behavior, society, and culture which makes research difficult. We know that the same diet affects even identical twins differently. Also, it was pointed out that research regarding red meat and processed meats are controversial. One researcher at the National Institute of Health compared ultra-processed food [accounts for roughly 57% of the American diet] with non-processed foods. Results of this particular study suggested that limited consumption of ultra-processed food may be an effective strategy for obesity, prevention and treatment.

However, there were many criticisms of this particular study that included: it was too short to observe the metabolic and behavioral changes; it was done in a lab compared to field research; and it did not take to account for many other variables like lifestyle. In essence, to do a proper study which takes into account controlling the many variables and using a universal or random population is expensive and not likely to happen unless government funds the research.

I suggest incorporating additional relevant variables and taking a more encompassing and healthy approach than limited to diet alone. Yes, diet is extremely important. However, let’s take a glimpse at how Centenarians approach life. Reaching 100 is a clear cut definition of health. We already know that this group has been studied by a number of researchers. In fact Howard’s book “How to Live to 100 Years Old: 16 Lifestyle Characteristics of the Oldest and Healthiest People in the World” provided one model for evaluating important variables related to longevity. His findings: 1. Have low blood sugar 2. Have low blood pressure 3. Have low blood total cholesterol 4. Keep weight low and steady [BMI from 18.5 to 25] 5. Eat fewer calories 6. Eat mostly vegetarian with coffee and tea 7. Take your vitamins 8. Exercise regularly, be active and stay busy after retirement 9. Don’t smoke or stop smoking if you do 10. Drink less alcohol 11. Get regular restful sleep 12. Have healthy gums 13. Challenge your mind, stay positive in attitude and avoid anxiety and depression 15 Shed those stressors, have daily structure and be resilient 16. Stay socially connected with serenity and a purpose to life.

Let’s face it, all research studies are flawed. They are compromised because no study employed a representative sample of the population. Each study has findings which can be generalized to represent only the particular sample utilized. It’s just too expensive, to select a random sample. We also know, that obesity is related to diet and the likelihood that processed meats are not healthy is just one aspect of being overweight. With that being said, Howard’s research on Centenarians is subject to the same criticism of randomness. However, his research incorporated many parameters of these Centenarians. In his study, healthiness was defined as  being  physically healthy; emotionally healthy; employing healthy habits with discipline and stick- to- it- ness; and surrounding oneself in a healthy community. In essence, the 16 characteristics of the Centenarians seemed reasonable. Even if one employed the 16 characteristics, there is no guarantee of reaching 100 years.

It’s obvious that superlative health can be achieved by some. It’s also obvious, that going on that “magic” diet alone does not solve the present obesity crisis affecting about 40% of the adults and about 19% of the children and adolescents in the United States. Healthiness is based on many factors including what we eat. Reaching 100 is a realistic and measurable definition for being healthy.  My ride and  tie, endurance and running friend Paul has made a good start, has lost weight, but, according to Howard’s research, has more choices to make regarding his health.

Hate Speech

The October 6, 2019 article “Free Speech Is Killing Us” found in the New York Times was certainly relevant. This article addressed noxious speech found on social media and the ineffective stance taken by the media giants and the politicians regarding limits. Numerous examples of physical violence and murder were given that recently took place in our country as well as the 1993 -1994 genocide in Rwanda were cited. Should our government and social media platforms be held accountable for allowing the spreading of false, hateful and noxious speech?

Some might say that free speech is protected by our First Amendment. Others might say that the First Amendment does not apply to private companies; and the Constitution does not guarantee it to them. Others might say that not all free speech is protected such as 1. Libel 2. Incitement to violence and 3. Child pornography. Further, what about noxious speech that drives a woman out of her workplace; rhetoric that correlates with hate crimes; speech that bullies a teenager into committing suicide; or words that influences democracy in the direction of totalitarianism?

Others point to the 14^th amendment which guarantees full citizenship and equal protection to all Americans including those who are harmed by hate speech? Do you protect just the hater or the distributor of noxious incitement and not protect the victim or victims of such derogatory behavior? The Christchurch gunmen for example wrote a number of negative posts and indicated on one “that it was now time to make a real-life effort post.” He murdered 52 people.

Make no but doubt about it, hate and noxious speech can be defined. Alex Jones and Milo Yiannopoulos have been barred from all major social media platforms. There are plenty of inappropriate hateful online posts that come from a variety of sites in and out of our country. The government’s responsibility is to protect its people. Protect the people now. Do your job.

There are many variables that result in causing one individual to hurt another. Let’s not use a parataxic mode of thinking and believing the power of one post and its resultant causing someone to kill another. However, it’s true that “sticks and stones can break one’s bones.” However it’s not true “that names will never hurt me.” It’s also true that “hate can evoke feelings of animosity, anger or resentment which can be directed against certain individuals groups or entities.” Hate also is associated with violent antipathy. The unpleasant emotion and behavior of hate (revenge}, and if it’s a character trait, is a real threat to our political process, our Republic, and to our well-being. There’s too much sadomasochistic behavior {the tendency to derive pleasure, from inflicting pain, suffering or humiliation on others} present on social media from known and unknown sources. Let’s come together to protect the recipients of hateful rhetoric that’s all too common in social media. Protecting recipients from unhealthy words affect well-being. Protection is not only constitutional but it’s also one of the 10 commandments “thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” I thought this country was founded on Judeo-Christian values. Am I naïve?

Effectance Motivation

Originally, Alfred Adler was part of Freud’s inner circle. Dr. Adler broke from Freud and with his theory he placed more emphasis on the ego and the dynamics of social interaction. Dr. Adler, in doing so, developed his own school of individual psychology. Adler wrote about family interactions as well as the development for potentially good behavior like affiliation, nurturance, empathy as well as the potential for bad outcomes like sadomasochism.  This essay incorporated only three of his pertinent motivational concepts- Striving  for Superiority, Style  of Life  and Social Interest while explaining aspects of my behavior.

Striving for Superiority, was viewed by Adler, as either imaginary or real. It emerged in order to compensate for either some bodily weakness or some sense of emotional inferiority or insecurity. He hypothesized that all newborns enter the world tiny, weak, helpless, and dependent on the caretaker for survival. To him this meant that all newborns begin life with a generalized view of inferiority or anxiety. As a result, the innate psychic task was in place to compensate for this weakness. It did so by striving for superiority or mastery in order to overcome this deficit to develop one’s personality in attaining possible completion.

As a young child, I received a medical diagnosis of asthma. This diagnosis explained my difficulty with breathing. I was cautioned not to exert myself physically. I was also not allowed to leave the house when the air quality was bad. This deficit was real. Eventually, I compensated and overcame my breathing difficulty and physical weakness by engaging in PE and in pickup games of basketball, baseball and football during my later elementary and junior high school years. In order to become physically stronger, I lifted free weights. In fact, I became a lot stronger and had my brother and friends hand me the barbell for bench presses. It took a lot of them to pick up and hand me 350 pounds so that I could bench press. I also performed 30 chin-ups within a minute as well as 60 push-ups within a minute.

As an adolescent, I played football for the Denby Tars which was one of the or the dominant high school team in the city of Detroit. I earned honors and was awarded a football scholarship to play for the University of Detroit Titans. I pushed myself physically and athletically to control and dominate those one-on-one battles during practice and in the games. This could be explained as a striving for superiority, excellence and effectance. Of course, expending tremendous amounts of psychic and physical energy, having a myopic purpose, with realistic goal setting were important and necessary at that time.

Years later, in my late 30s, I began running and also became involved in the horse world. In my 50s, I discovered a sport called Ride and Tie. This sport combined having a human and horse partner. In this sport, I met world-class equestrians-winners in Tevis and Polo competitions and world-class runners-winners in Western States 100 and other nationally sanctioned races.  I also wore my Tevis completion buckle. Once again, expending tremendous energy, dealing with overuse injuries, having a singular focus and realistic goal setting were necessary.

Striving for Superiority  became, in  certain respects, my own particular Style  of Life  as I spent a great deal of time and energy physically conditioning that included  running 50 miles a week on average and riding my horses 50 miles a week on average  so that I could compete in the many running events [age division winner in the 100 Western  States ], endurance competitions and ride and tie [coming in first place in the 100  mile Swanton Pacific  Ride and Tie with my partners]. I ran so I could compete in ride and tie. I competed in endurance rides so my horses would be ready for Ride and Tie. Ride and Tie was my passion, my Striving for Superiority, and my favorite sport. In essence, I incorporated ride and tie behaviors which became my Style of Life.

Social Interest for Adler meant focusing on social welfare – doing well and thinking about mankind in socialized ways instead of self-serving or narcissistic interests. It’s not about fame, leadership, power, self-aggrandizement or political ambitions Once again it’s a matter of using a real or imaginary weakness or deficit as a striving compensation for behavior.

 Returning to the past and school years. At one high school reunion, a longtime friend from elementary school and a high school class officer, told me she remembered me as being really smart. My personification during junior high and high school years were sports and girls. They were certainly more important than academics. Not being motivated in high school academically, I developed an ambivalent attitude about school learning. That negative attitude was a psychic weakness and my drive to overcome for compensation.

It wasn’t until my University years that I got turned on and became passionate about the field of psychology. My Striving for Superiority took that direction in my 20s and 30s as I achieved a BS; two MA’s and a PhD. In part for Social Welfare and giving back, I taught kids, adults, and college students in both the public school, community college and at the University. I practiced psychotherapy with kids, adults and families. I performed research on the ego development of pregnant teens and presented my research findings to a National Psychological Association.

While in “formal” retirement, I wrote two books regarding the motivations of college and professional football athletes and older athletes participating in extreme sports and presented my insights to numerous groups. My Social Interest centers on reading, writing and educating on various health topics. Striving for Superiority ,Style of Life and Social Interest are related to both my emotional and physical well-being. Thank you Dr. Adler for enlightening me to your insights regarding a motivational model for man. For depth, consult: Adler, A. Understanding Life: An Introduction to the Psychology of Alfred Adler.

PS

While  beginning  my eighth decade,  I still run 50 K’s and am considering co- producing a full-length film on racism and sports with my good friend. Adler would call this Fictional Finalism. Is this quest, a striving ideal or a fiction?