Our children,especially males, are in trouble.,if the statistics on teenage loneliness are accurate. Factors attributed to loneliness include but are not limited to parenting within a socio economic ,unequal,technological society that affects and contributes to inadequate personality development . These prominent factors are significantly associated with the loneliness epidemic.
Loneliness is sweeping across America touching every generation, especially the young, and is now considered and linked to a public health epidemic.. For example, nearly twice as many adolescents in 2018 versus 2012 had elevated levels of loneliness . And teens ,in the span of two decades ,saw that their personal social interactions dropped by 70%. Further, teenagers are experiencing more loneliness than any other age group in the world
Back in the day during the school week, I regularly had breakfast and dinner with my entire family. Dad left for work. I walked on Wayburn street to Wayne elementary school with neighbors , mom made school lunch and took care of the home. After school and on weekends, I either joined or started baseball and football pickup games with my friends. My parents didn't express concern about my outdoor play activities but reminded me to be home, on time, for dinner.
My father, as an undefeated ,over 20 years, union president, modeled intelligence, effectiveness and concern for others. His involvement with others was noticeable as many individuals visited our home seeking counsel from dad. Dad was also highly involved in my sports participation in high school and college. Mom modeled care ,concern,and respect for family, friends and neighbors . She also sang and played the piano and was unsurpassed and intelligent while playing and dominating various games. She also was a crossword puzzle wizard.
Years later, the pill ,economic inequality, divorce, technology and political divisions continued . Also, more women entered college and the workforce. Because of the economic pressures., traditional family meals and parental availability was radically changed as children could not always go home after school. Daycare centers and babysitters became the norm.In other words inapt, inadequate parenting resulted in contributed and affected negatively in their children's psychological development, resulting in emotional and behavioral, verbal problems .
Divorce rates increased and children were bombarded with male figures during their mothers loneliness. Mothers were depressed, angry and resentful. They harped and attacked their former spouse, setting up splitting-good versus bad . The angry spouse had no difficulty blasting her former husband for being worthless., no good , inept, cheap and he should pay more child support. The innocent children experienced stress ,insecurity, anger, rejection, mistrust, loss, with a depressed mother. These factors made it difficult for the male child to favorably identify with his once omnipotent father role model. Relationships, and unions didn’t last, and were associated with mistrust ,rejection,anger and hate
Moms became exceptional in the workforce and often surpassed ,excelled and overachieved the alcohol ,drug, ill health and inept non-paying child support dad. These and other numerous factors were.associated with the inability of the male boy to develop an identity . Instead he developed role confusion which leads not to affiliation but to isolation, dropping out , and rebelling against the established norms . These males felt “safe”, stayed home, played and became addicted to video games and other devices, associated with online hate groups , and a few even killed others in their community.
Many of these adolescents and young adults were developing inadequate personalities. They were generally ineffectual when it came to the ordinary demands of life which are actions related to the intellectual, emotional, social, and physical behavior. They were also inept in life and showed poor judgment continually, and lacked a normal sense of moral responsibility. They had an inability to persevere in anything except maybe the instant gratification of the iPhone's addictive qualities which means being unable to postpone and instead pursue immediate pleasure like young children. In essence they were certainly not responsible and ineffectual with their interactions with their nuclear family
Moreover, their personality development can be characterized as being narcissistic, with the inability to love self and others. And, is in conflict with the “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself “ Biblical quote. Freud described these selfish people as narcissistic in which they had withdrawn and directed their psychic energy away from others, and in fact turned it toward their own person. It's true that excessive narcissistic people are incapable of loving others, but they are also not capable of loving themselves either.
An excessive narcissistic person is interested primarily in himself . Everything is for himself . He feels no pleasure in giving, but only in the taking . The world is seen and perceived only from the standpoint of what he can get out of it. He lacks interest in the needs of others ,unable to empathize,as well as respecting dignity and integrity. Of others. He can see nothing but himself, and he judges everyone and everything from its usefulness to him.
The pursuit of self-interest becomes the supreme norm of life as narcissistic individuals are divorced from themselves and withdrawn from the world. They feel isolated,lonely. and depressed as well. Their purpose and future seems beyond reach and nonexistent.
In addition, we had the ongoing technological revolution. With that revolution, disastrous mental health statistics occurred. Inappropriate and excessive smart phone usage by children and adolescents have been associated with mental health problems such as depression, suicide, aggressive and bullying behaviors.
During one survey many young people felt trapped by Tik Tok and Snap Chat. Nearly all the participants expressed regret about having access to many of the most popular social media platforms. Additionally, a survey of over thousand parents with children under 18 found that many parents gave their children smart phones and social media access too early. In fact, many wish that social media had never been invented, and hoped for new social norms, policies and restrictions. It was also reported that 55% of these parents of the children began smart phone usage by the age of 12 and 61% said the same about Instagram. The parents reported that social media access was given to their young children too soon along with giving them smart phones as well. Some parents also rationalized their inappropriate decisions by saying there was too much social pressure and their children would be better prepared for the future by the use of this technology..
Technology today is sophisticated. These giants of industry have utilized psychological principles and are able to immediately reward the neurotransmitters in the brain. like dopamine. With their technology., they are able to provide immediate gratification and thus addict their users with tremendous animistic life qualities. Their visual, auditory, ability to “ connect” with ambiguous others is inordinate. Their devices have a spirit and seem to have a life of their own. In other words, for many, these inorganic devices are extensions of themselves. It’s their “security” and the attachment has replaced significant human contact .They experience separation anxiety without their device.These devices become narcissistic attachments and sadly the possessors invest inordinate amounts of psychic energy with them .
These individuals who are narcissistic are extremely comfortable, attached and dependent with these devices which have replaced human affiliation. By spending so much time with them, they don't have time for other things in their life. These devices have interfered and in many cases have prolonged ,contributed and interfered with healthy narcissism development Healthy narcissism is being able to have interpersonal relations, empathy,respect ,mutuality,concern ,care with moral maturity with self and for others
Concluding thoughts, the epidemic of loneliness. Is related to not being able to adequately meet the ego's need of affiliation, which is to be able to enjoy, cooperate, reciprocate with another, as well as pleasing winning affection and remaining loyal as well. Loneliness is a failure to connect with the other despite the fact of the anxiety of being alone .Electronic devices are a poor substitute , an inadequate replacement for living the life of being human. A matrix of factors have significantly contributed to the loneliness epidemic. . The biblical teachings of love thy neighbor and thy enemy as thyself is unrealistic in a divided, angry, and lonely capitalist technological society. With that being said, it’s not surprising that our divided society exhibits so much hate and , insanity within its absurdity
Reference
There Is a Way to Bring Back Childhood. The New York Times, June 22 2025.
Boy Crisis of 2025, Meet Boy Problem Of the Early 1900s. August 17, 2025.