Our Mothers Part 3

My mother almost reached 93 in 2001. Fortunately for her, she was with my brother, a physician, and my sister when she passed. I just returned from being with her on September 10, 2001. He took good care of her. She had a heart valve replacement in her 50s, and that leaked. Unfortunately, we pushed her to have surgery and that resulted in her demise. I did not want her to pass. Mom passed 11 days later.

Mother never drank coffee, but drink tea and loved Cadbury bars. She drank occasionally, but never at home. To keep her mind sharp, mom beat me at Scrabble and worked on crossword puzzles. In fact, others in her building, stopped playing Scrabble with her because she always beat them. My competitive mother also played gin rummy and bridge.  She sang and played the piano, bragging that she only took piano lessons for one year. In fact, her teacher, a cousin even entertained the Romanoff’s. Mom loved movies, Mario Lanza, Tom Jones and Lara’s theme from Doctor Zhivago.

Mother never exercised and was a special assistant to Walter Goodman in running the Michigan State Fair.  While employed, she met many entertainers and raved about meeting and being kissed by Roy Rogers. I took her to a Tom Jones nightclub concert and she obtained one of his sweaty handkerchiefs. She was thrilled. When I suggested that she consider moving to a senior facility, she replied, “I’m not going there because they are too old.” End of that discussion. Her father and my Zadie lived independently into his 90s also. I miss her very much.

From this brief description of our moms, all helped to combat the decreasing mortality rate and the Alzheimer’s rise in our country; all had three children; all outlived their husbands-our fathers; all were competitive and  won, and all contributed to our happiness in numerous ways. We are so lucky.

PS

Do not get cancer or its treatment and you will live longer. I decided to run my 79 birthday trail miles this week. I feel good; the weather is good; and, Michigan has a bye this week.

Our Mothers Part 2

Adeline born in Iowa lived until age 96. Going through the depression, she stressed frugality and emphasized savings. At 90, she could still touch her toes. When I asked Tony, why his athletic, competitive mother touched her toes, he essentially said “to show me up.” She used to swim and workout with Jack La Lanne on TV. She added that she had a lot of fun dancing with the servicemen during the war years. Unfortunately, she had bad knees, but still gardened. To keep her mind sharp, she worked word games and crossword puzzles. She also painted, made ceramic dolls and was a seamstress. In fact, her celebrity shop sewed for the Nixon’s. She volunteered frequently at the school, old folks home, polling stations and at the USO.

At about 90 or 91, Adeline fell and broke her femur. Although her femur healed, she was in agony. She wound up in a wheelchair, because of her bad knees, which she hated. She demonstrated perseverance and didn’t take any crap from anybody. She told Tony that one time her boss got fresh and she smacked him. Her mother lived into her 90s also.

Helen, nicknamed Ridgie, born in Illinois, lived to the age of 93. She had surgery and developed bleeding in her neck and passed away about 10 days later. She smoked Camels until she developed cancer of the tongue while in her mid-80s and then quit. She was very social and loved country club parties. She drank a lot.

Helen was very competitive, and was a terrific golfer. She won many women golf tournaments well into her 70s. She even went to the driving range until about age 90. She developed a heart condition into her mid-80s and that slowed her physically. She kept her mind sharp and was an avid card player playing Spite and Malice and Bridge. She was a volunteer during the war and a DAR member as well

To Be Continued

Our Mothers

I continue to be angry with my dear friend Jonathan Jordan for dying. I miss him a lot. Jonathan was both mentally and physically fit. He ate healthy, was an ultra-runner and an equestrian. His mind, eating and drinking habits, and physical activity did not kill him. Unfortunately, he had cancer and was treated with radiation therapy and chemotherapy. He lost weight, during treatment and was unable to put back the weight that he had prior to treatment. In the Harvard Heart Letter published in August 2012, was titled “Doctors Strive to Prevent the Cure for One Disease Causing Another.” It was stated, “Almost every chemotherapy drug has some effect on the cardiovascular system and most are not good….”Not only that, “radiation therapy can cause heart attack, heart failure and arrhythmias.” In essence, it was stated that the treatment, not the cure for cancer, which includes radiation therapy and chemotherapy also causes the same people to develop cardiovascular disease.

Jonathan, while trail running died from a cardiovascular disease. Did his cancer treatment contribute and cause his death? This just adds to my frustration and anger regarding his death. The rest of my post relates to subjective and obtained information  from Dave regarding his mother Teresa; Tony regarding his mother Adeline; from Linda regarding her mother Helen ; and my mother  for the purpose of gaining insight into these four remarkable women who each lived into their 90s.

Teresa, born in the province of Ontario, Canada, at 94, resides in Michigan near Detroit. She was described as “sharp as a tack.” Competitive, she plays numerous word games like Scrabble, crossword puzzles online and maintains contact with 100 or so relatives on Facebook. She continues to walk and even completed a 1000 mile Mall walk a number years ago. She has a deep faith in God, but has been mortified by the Catholic Church. This attractive woman has been on a restricted calorie diet or no sugar for years while maintaining her weight.

Teresa sold her car last year and lives in an independent facility. Not having her car along with a spinal stenosis condition, has resulted in her slowing down. Her cardiologist wanted to put in a stent, and she replied, “Why do I want to live longer?” For her, being dependent is her worst nightmare. Growing up poor, she wished that she could have lived on the nearby Indian reservation and subsequently made a pact with God that all she wanted in life was a pair of shoes and food. She broke her pelvis about 10 years ago and no longer golf’s three times a week.

To Be Continued

Perseverance Part 2

It has been demonstrated that various diets result in limited success. Homo sapiens have difficulty sticking to these diets. For me, a lifestyle change in eating habits resulted in reducing sugar intake, red meat, French fries, potato chips and ketchup. However, at my last Sunday’s dinner prior to attending Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility play at the Shakespearean Festival in Ashland, Oregon, I ordered the Angus burger with fries and ketchup. This, more than likely, will not be the last time that I shall stray from going off the wagon.

Further, it’s been suggested that exercise, 30 to 60 minutes per day attaining 60-90% of maximum heart rate is recommended. To calculate, subtract 220 BPM minus age to equal 100% heart rate.   I am compulsive about exercise and have my own plan. For instance, I am reaching 79 years of youth, next month. For the last five years or so, I hit the trail and run the number of years of my age in a week, every November. I must confess that Tony reminded me this year. Over the last few weeks, I have been toying with the idea of running those 79 miles or little over three marathons in five or six days. My birthday falls during the week of the University of Michigan and Ohio State football game. Depending upon game time, if need be, I’ll complete, if necessary, those miles on my elliptical so I can watch the game. Game time hasn’t been established as of yet.

Remember, you are what you eat. Don’t forget to keep moving.

Perseverance

Last year Linda suffered a severe equestrian injury that was followed by severe osteoarthritis discomfort. She consulted a surgeon and was administered a steroid.  She also changed her diet and reduced the inflammation and discomfort. In addition, she persevered with range of motion exercises. Linda was successful in that she eliminated that dreaded surgery. For her, exercise and diet proved successful. She also consumes, depending upon her discomfort, boswellia, extra strength curaphen, ibuprofen and other nutrients.

An article in the September/October 2018 The National Psychologist titled Nutrition Studies Can Aid Clinical Psychologists was pertinent. This article highlighted the relationship between an unhealthy diet and mental health. For example, too much junk food, or not enough nutrient dense foods are a risk factor for depression and anxiety. In addition, anxiety, schizophrenia, psychosis and child behavior conditions cannot be ignored as well. The article added that perhaps a food diet Journal might help the individual to become more aware of the addictive qualities of sugar. Perhaps the writing down of foods digested might help people make more intelligent food choices. Additionally, nutritious foods, plant-based food, fish and poultry, olive oil instead of butter and a minimum of red wheat rather than prepackaged products were recommended.

A continuing education class sponsored by the Institute for Natural Resources pointed out that the federal government publishes nutritional recommendations, employing a My plate chart. This chart is divided into four portions, about a quarter reach for protein, grains, fruits and vegetables. Latest studies showed that only 2% of us eat in a healthy manner, 70% of the time. Although vegetables are consumed. It’s not the ones that are needed. The most commonly eaten vegetable, in the United States is a potato, but that is usually in the form of French fries, or potato chips. The second most common veggie is the tomato, usually in the form of ketchup, pasta sauce or pizza sauce. Onions are the third most consumed vegetable and the fourth is iceberg lettuce, which has little nutritional value and is mostly water.

To Be Continued

Anxiety part4

Alcohol, smoking, drugs, droning oneself with long hours and being compulsive about work; the inordinate need for sleep; and engaging in sexual activities might serve as a safety valve through which anxiety can be released. Unfortunately, these provide only short-term fixes and do not address the underlying psychodynamic issues. Performing rituals is another escape mechanism, as evidenced when watching a professional baseball player at-bat. When the hitter steps out of the batter’s box, he loosens or unties and then re-fastens his batting glove numerous times before getting back into the batter’s box. This behavior is done over and over again and operates automatically.

Another common way to escape anxiety consists of avoiding all situations thoughts or feelings, which might arouse anxiety. If one is conscious about the fear of driving in the mountains, then one can avoid it. Sometimes one is not aware of the anxiety. In this case, one attempts to avoid it by procrastinating and experiencing difficulty in making decisions. Sometimes this avoidance operates automatically and the phenomena of inhibition arises. In addition, inhibition is the inability to do, feel or think certain things without dysfunction. It’s an attempt to avoid anxiety which would arise if the individual attempted to do, feel or think these things.

We’re certainly living in the age of anxiety. It’s a definite problem of our times. With the multitude of external threats and unresolved psychodynamic underlying issues, there are numerous individuals with poor mental, physical health; addictive disorders; economic inequities; and homicidal and suicidal behavior and deaths. Further, as evidenced by the bitterness, verbal aggression and hate expressed on social media, radio and TV, suggests that we have an epidemic of anxiety in our culture. Furthermore, there’s talk “they are going to take away my guns; changing the Second Amendment; I have to protect my family” which is like adding fuel to burning embers. Those rationalizations do not mitigate or solve the underlying issues. Having a gun, or guns does not remove insecurity. Owning a gun does not resolve the real issue. Not only that, providing more weapons to anxious individuals is dangerous and counterproductive.

Anxiety part 3

Let’s start with rationalization. Rationalization is the best explanation for the evasion of responsibility: it consists of simply turning anxiety into a rational fear. One example is an over-solicitous or helicopter mom. She would be concerned about her children, regardless of whether she admits to having anxiety or even whether she interprets her anxiety as a justified fear. When she’s told that her reactions to her children are not a rational fear, but simply anxiety, this is threatening and implies that her responses are not proportionate to the existing danger. It’s too threatening to admit to personal factors as causation. Immediately, likely becoming angry, she refutes the interpretation as being related to her. Rationalizations are exhibited into “proving” that she’s right and you’re wrong. So instead of feeling helpless, or exhibiting prey to one’s emotions, or admitting to irrational elements in attitude or belief system, the individual instead feels angry and entirely rationally justified in thought, behavior and actions.

Denying the existence of anxiety is another way to escape it, which means excluding it from consciousness. Generally, all that appears are the physical concomitants of fear, and anxiety, such as shivering, sweating, accelerated heartbeat, choking sensations, frequent urge to urinate, diarrhea, vomiting, and feeling of restlessness of being crushed or paralyzed. During every trail competition, there is an array of porta potty’s with lines of people waiting their turn. I know because I have been in line many a time. In one of my AR 50 trail runs, by the time I left the porta potty, the race had already started. Then we have an example of a conscious denial of anxiety which results in a conscious attempt to overcome it. In this example, an individual might attempt to get rid of the fear by recklessly disregarding it. Typically, it might be a soldier who was driven by the impulse to overcome the fear and as result performs heroic deeds. Rationalization and denial are only two examples of defense mechanisms employed per Karen Horney. There are more.

To be continued

Anxiety part 2

About 6 to 9 months later, when mother leaves the room or becomes out of sight, we experience that tension, anxiety, fear, loss of “love” or helplessness that our needs are not going to be met because of her separation. This is called separation anxiety. We also began to experience anxiety when we are punished, as we now are afraid of the loss of mother’s love. Receiving punishment compared to receiving “love” are diametrically opposed. In other words, as infants, the basis or the blueprint of helplessness and anxiety have been established. The dynamics of separation anxiety, and loss of love are re-experienced throughout one’s lifetime over and over again.

Psychologically, our job is to deal with all the emotional storms of a lifetime of stress; overcoming obstacles; by employing a variety of strategies or substitute gratifications to master the unpleasantness of anxiety. More often than not, we are unable to identify the root causes of our anxiety. As a result, we distort the real, or underlying reasons for it.

Because it’s difficult, for many, to identify the signs of anxiety, the following physiological symptoms may help per DSM. Dyspnea or difficulty with breathing; palpitations; chest pain or discomfort; choking or smothering sensations; dizziness, vertigo or unsteady feelings; feelings of unreality ;parenthesis or tingling in hands or feet; hot and cold flashes; sweating; faintness; trembling or shaking; fear of dying, going crazy and doing something  uncontrolled during an attack are just a few indicators. Additional psychological components or signs of anxiety include excessive brooding, worry, preoccupation, rumination, anticipation of misfortune to self or others, difficulty in concentrating, and insomnia. This list is far from exhaustive.

With the assistance of our ego, we consciously or unconsciously [not knowing it] experience a threat internally; detect some great external danger; or predict that some calamity is about to happen. Helplessness, then occurs, and with the help of our ego, we spring into action to confront this unbearable or unpleasant situation. In our culture, there are numerous ways of escaping this terrible feeling of anxiety. According to Hans Selye, It could be flight, fight or freeze. Typically with fight, different aspects of aggression, contempt, resentment, or scapegoating follow. On the other hand, we can also rationalize it; deny it; narcotize it; or avoid thoughts, feelings, impulses and situations which might arouse it.

To be continued