The theme of
this essay relates to the repetition of self-defeating behavior. There can’t be
many in our country that do not know about the long-term ill effects of poor
nutrition; lack of physical activity; smoking; excessive drinking; and
prolonged prescription and nonprescription drug use. One would think that it’s
common knowledge that our body or more specifically our organs like heart,
lungs, kidneys; infections; arthritis; and a whole host of diseases such as diabetes,
cancer, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s and dementia etc. become compromised as a
result of inappropriate behavioral choices.
For example, according to the CDC, about 72,000 Americans died from drug
overdoses in 2017 and that 3/4 of our country are either overweight or obese. Not to the surprise of some, recent studies
have reported that lifestyle choices can limit genetic predispositions. More
about that later.
Typically, discussions around one’s weight
results in defensiveness, and the expression of anger. Typical responses
include: I have bad knees; I don’t care; I can’t change; it’s not going to
happen to me-I’m going to gamble; I don’t know how to change; look at my
relative who drank and smoked and lived to 100; I like food; I like the effects
of getting a buzz; I like ice cream too much to give it up etc. There is no
denying that the short-term effects of food, cigarettes, alcohol and drug use
medicate and provide temporary relief. However, there is no denying that, more
often than not, the long-term effects of these short-term fixes result in
misery, shorter lifespan that includes a deleterious death. There is also no
denying that we are not talking about some disease or genetic predisposition
but we are talking about decision-making.
Psychologically,
we can explain this self-defeating or abasement behavior as follows. The infant
begins to experience praise or love for parental approving behaviors and
punishment or perceived loss of love for parental disapproving behaviors. With
the loss of love, we are exposed to danger which means that we are not
protected. Not only that, we can expect to receive a punishment from a superior
figure. Don’t forget that the many approvals and disapprovals by parents are not
consistent nor clearly defined. What might seem to be okay or good with one
parent is not necessarily the same as with the other parent. In other words,
good behavior is not always understood but bad behavior is verbally or physically
subject to punishment. The youngster initially learns, that if the discipliner
is not present, one can get away with the bad behavior. Later, with the
development of conscience, one knows what is punishable and therefore might not
exhibit the terrible behavior, even if the authority is not present, because he
knows it’s bad. He also begins to understand, with conscience, that even
thinking about bad behavior is wrong and subject to punishment. Once again,
punishment means the loss of love. It doesn’t
matter if the punisher says something to the effect that “this hurts me more
than it hurts you.” The receiving of punishment or discipline is not associated
with being loved.
With bad
thoughts, and/or bad behavior, guilt is experienced. Guilt is the loss of love
because of that internalized figure which might be a parent but not limited to
a parent. When that youngster is being punished and/or receiving some form of
disapproval, that results in feeling anger. How does this tiny individual
respond to this large, omnipotent and powerful person? To physically or verbally fight back against
this dominant person doesn’t make sense because of the fear connected. So, that
youngster suppresses that anger while experiencing thoughts and feelings of
hate. The suppression of anger, guilt and loss of love dynamic occurs too often
throughout one’s lifetime. Remember, one’s thinking evil thoughts results in
guilt as well as the fear of loss of love and approval. Yes, we juggle approval
behaviors and defend against fear of loss of love when faced against a superior
or emotionally important figure in our life space.
It’s been
well established, in our culture, that aggression is considered either a drive,
a need, an acquired need; a reaction to frustration, or learned behavior
because of the reinforcements and/or by the imitation of models within the
environment. We also know that aggression can be directed outward toward others
as in sadism or directed inward toward self as in masochism. We also know that
aggression directed outwards as in boxing, football, soccer and rugby is
acceptable because it’s called sport. However, anger directed inward as in the
need of abasement-to accept injury, punishment, to seek illness and misfortune are
characteristics of man.
It’s clear
to me that long term abuse of one’s body, suggests self-punishment coupled with
irrational thinking. If it’s self-punishment, that means there’s aggression
turned inward along with the memory of being bad at some time or times during
one’s lifetime. This memory results in an unconscious need for punishment. The
individual through irrational and destructive repetitiveness behavior,
systematically harms, hurts and seeks illness and misfortune by lifestyle choices
because of an unconscious need for self-punishment. That doesn’t mean that
external aggressive behavior as in verbal or physical sadism is not expressed
toward others. I can’t think of one obese person that does not hurl verbal
abuse outward. Yes, there is more to each unique and individual story as well
as the power, the strength and influencing dynamic of their conscience.
Returning to
an article published in July 14 of the journal JAMA, was presented to the
“Annual Alzheimer’s Association International Conference.” Almost 200,000
people were enrolled in this United Kingdom long-term-eight year study.
Diseases like cancer, heart disease, depression and dementia along with genetic
variance were studied based on for behavior such as smoking cigarettes,
exercise, and diet and alcohol consumption. The researchers found that those
individuals, regardless of genetics, that exhibited healthy behaviors were
nearly half as likely to develop dementia compared to the others. Unfortunately,
the article didn’t comment on other diseases.
In
conclusion, it seems that our design is not conducive in engaging in healthy
behaviors, but quick medicated fixes. Perhaps, a strategy of exhibiting healthy
and making appropriate behavioral choices along with routine healthcare visits,
can be accomplished? Everyone gets
punished, experiences guilt and expresses aggression. The strength and
influence of a strict and punitive unconscious conscience can be paramount;
however there are no guarantees; no one said that it’s going to be easy; and we
all are mortal. In essence, self-defeating
repetitious behaviors are symptoms of internal conflict or conflicts that can
be confronted. Yes, we are all going to perish. However, while alive, if able,
it’s better, in the long run, to react more rationally. The key question is “if
able.” So far, man’s irrational and unconscious need driven behavior dominates
and is more powerful than his intelligence.
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