I had a recent conversation with my sister Bev. She moved to Florida and planned to visit cousins Sibyl and Sheldon. After her visit, she told me that I should see them soon. Sibyl has a PhD in art history and Shell an oral surgeon. Sybil is a year older than I am and Sheldon is a couple years older than her. Both, unfortunately and sadly have a leukemia diagnosis. On a positive note, Rick and Sheldon are planning on attending the Michigan-Georgia game on December 31. Rick and family are also meeting with Bev.
A second trigger regarding aging was a song by the Rolling Stones “Mother’s Little Helper.” Mick Jagger and Keith Richards lyrics: What a drag it is getting old Kids are different today I hear every mother say Mother need something today to calm her down And though she’s not really ill, there is a little pill……… Cooking fresh food for her husband’s just a drag So she buys an instant cake, and she burns a frozen steak….. The pursuit of happiness just seems a bore…….. They just help you on your way, through your busy dying day Hey. These lyrics suggest and are associated with excessive valium, repetition of nonproductive sameness, boredom, depression. It’s a bleak view of aging. This essay encompasses why people making poor health decisions during the process of aging.
In addition to the Rolling Stones version, there are number of theories related to healthy aging. A theory is based on a set of hypotheses, operational definitions and supporting research. A theory is not just some crazy belief or statement. Theories like “The Wear and Tear”; “Neuroendocrine”; “Genetic Control”; “Free Radical” and others are beyond the scope of this essay. Researchers like Howard have studied characteristics of centenarians. For example, he identified 16 lifestyle characteristics that are associated with long life expectancies. A few of these behavioral characteristics are as follows: 1. Eating fewer calories 2. Eating mostly vegetarian with coffee and tea 3 .Regular exercise 4. Staying socially connected with serenity and purpose to life.
On the other hand, poor life choice decision-making is associated with obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, respiratory complications and other serious illnesses. For example, two thirds of our population is obese and overweight. It’s no wonder, why we’ve had so much Covid-19 hospitalizations and death. Our population is sick.
Why some individuals make decisions appropriate to healthy aging while others do not, I turned to Henry A Murray’s Personolgy theory which is based on biological science, clinical practice and academic psychology. Briefly, Dr. Murray majored in history at Harvard; graduated with an M.D. from Columbia; received an MA in biology from Columbia and received a PhD in biochemistry from Cambridge. He taught, conducted research at Harvard and joined the Army Medical Corps with the rank of Major and then as a Lt. Col. Dr. Murray established and directed the assessment service for the Office of Strategic Services which is now called the CIA. Although Dr. Murray’s theory is beyond the scope of this essay, certain” needs” are to be employed relating to lifestyle choices.
Dr. Murray believed that the existence of a need can be inferred on the basis of: 1. The effect and result of the behavior .The particular pattern or mode of behavior involved 3.Selective attention and response to a particular class of stimulus objects 4. The expression of a particular emotion or affect and 5. The expression of satisfaction when a particular effect is achieved or disappointment when the effect is not achieved.
One powerful need to be considered is Abasement. This need is related to submitting passively; accepting injury, punishment; becoming resigned to fate; to blame, belittle or mutilate the self and to seek and enjoy pain, punishment, illness and misfortune. When someone is told, that their behavior is not healthy and they respond “I know” but continue with the same decision-making process is an example. This need interferes with health, longevity and well-being if not curtailed, or diminished.
A number years ago I engaged in accident prone potential behaviors. I rode my Harley and engaged in Ride and Tie and other equestrian competitions. I suffered in 2009, an equestrian injury and broke a few bones in my neck. The surgeon told me that I cannot afford another fall on my back as it might result in paralysis. I believed him and that ended my equestrian competitions. Years prior, I had sold my Harley. I knew how I wanted to spend my later years.
Another related need is Affiliation. This need is defined as enjoyably cooperating or reciprocating with an allied other; pleasing and winning affection; and to adhere and remain loyal to a friend. Being socially connected is extremely important. Great Britain refers to loneliness as an epidemic and a serious social, political and economic issue. Even the Beatles Eleanor Rigby’s lyrics: All the lonely people where do they all come from? All the lonely people where do they all belong? Father McKenzie Writing the words of the sermon that no one will hear No one comes near Look at him working Darning his socks in the night when there’s nobody there What does he care?
It should be noted that mental illness is a result of human interaction that begins early in life. However, it’s extremely important to have quality interactions throughout one’s life. Being around toxic individuals significantly affect one’s well-being. It was sad that I essentially ended a former relationship with friend as result of his mentally sick partner. My wife was on the receiving end of toxicity. The choice was simple and clear.
Related to affiliation is nurturance. This is defined as giving sympathy and gratifying the needs of a helpless object; assisting an object in danger; to help support, protect, nurse, comfort and heal another. Having relationships that are based on moving toward another in a loving way is necessary for both. Giving, extending oneself counters narcissistic and aggressive interactions toward others. With nurturance, there’s an absence of power, control and exploitation. Individuals in nurturing relationships, work toward extending life and well-being compared to ending life.
Related to nurturance is Succorance. This is defined as having one’s needs gratified by sympathetic aid of an allied objects; to be nursed, supported sustained, protected, loved, advised, forgiven and to always have a supporter. If one starts out life with that description of parents, one has a wonderful chance of establishing the potential for emotional mutuality with one’s spouse. To have a union with both nurturance and succorance can be called love. As love requires respect, care, responsibility and knowledge per Erich Fromm. Have you ever heard of anyone wanting to end a loving relationship?
John Lennon’s lyrics to “Mother” are relevant. A few of his lyrics: Mother, you had me But I never had you I, I wanted you You didn’t want me So, I ……. Father, you left me But I never left you I needed you You didn’t need me……. Mama don’t go Daddy come home…… John Lennon’s lyrics pertain to loss and rejection. These significant factors are related to parental loss of love which affect one’s well-being and associated with anxiety, depression, resentment, frustration and aggression. These psychological factors are hardly a recipe for aging. Integrity is required as it translates into the ability to face death and not be fearful of it.
In essence, a minority
of individuals in this country are exhibiting decision-making behaviors
associated with well-being during aging. However, there are many factors
interfering with aging such as Anatomic, Topographical, Physiological,
Pathological and Epidemiological Classifications. Reality tells the story. It
has been estimated that about 40% of premature mortality is due to behavioral
causes and many of these are automatic habits. Four out of five Americans will
die from the top 10 causes of death-heart disease, cancer, COPD, stroke,
accidents, Alzheimer’s disease, diabetes, kidney disease, pneumonia, flu and suicide.
Do not forget Covid-19 and its variants. In other words, successful aging is
not based primarily on luck, it’s based, in large part, on choices,
perseverance and hard work. The key to success is
action, and the essential in action is perseverance said Sun
Yat-sen and An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.
— Benjamin Franklin
References
Institute for Natural Resources. Cognition, Diet and Longevity.
Murray, Henry A. Explorations in Personality, New York: Oxford.
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