The German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche , long ago, stated, "that which does not kill us makes us stronger." This idea suggests that suffering provides an opportunity to develop fortitude and these challenges can serve as a learning experience that strengthens one's character. I recently talked with Thom Darden about stresses during aging. I said add stress to plates as plates diminish in size over time. Thom replied, "The plate gets heavier." This essay addresses the famous philosopher's quote.
Psychologically, the following have to be taken into consideration while aging: 1. Humans have a limited or fixed amount of psychic energy. This means the ego has at its disposal a fixed supply of energy for meeting psychological needs . 2. During development, the ego becomes confronted with a series of psychosexual and psychosocial stages or crises. If the crisis is successfully resolved at that particular stage, then the person's ego is in a better position to successfully master the next stage of development. However, if the ego is unsuccessful at resolving that crisis , the likelihood of it being successful (needing gratification) at the next succeeding stage becomes questionable. 3. Ego functions( thinking, sensing, perceiving, planning, reality , impulse control , frustration tolerance , ego boundaries etc.) are developed and established during these psychosexual and psychosocial stages . Successful resolution of issues and conflicts, during these stages, results in positive degrees of ego strength and vice versa. 4. Psychic energy, psychosexual, psychosocial crises, degree of ego strength and ego needs affect and become part of character . 5. These variables play a significant role in the ability to handle difficulties or stresses that confront humans. 6. Stress does not at all strengthen character, but are challenges that test ego needs, physiological , psychological health and wellbeing.
A few illustrations follow of the various stresses, hurdles and conflicts that affect one's well-being. Remember that it's not always what one says about their conflict , instead it’s about attitude, behavior and choices during and after. A friend recently lost her spouse because of death. Did the death of the spouse make her character stronger? Her husband had Lou Gehrig's disease and his condition rapidly deteriorated. He was confined to a mobile powered chair; could hardly talk and lost his physical ability dramatically. They put an elevator in the home to transport him from the first to the second floor. He decided to take his life. With death, there was a diminished amount of stress on her plate that totally changed her life . Her plate became lighter as the amount of stress was lessened with his passing. She’s now dating.
Another friend has a respiratory illness that has not yet been accurately diagnosed. He's an only son and is highly involved in taking care of two elderly parents residing in another state. Aside from his respiratory condition, which interferes with his ability to exercise and have a quality life of his own, he has taken on the responsibility of caring for his parents, with frequent road trips. Good ego functioning, demonstrates his ability to give to his parents and attests to his character.
Another friend has recently undergone surgery for hernia and a colonoscopy as well. During these procedures, the doctors discovered he had a rare form of cancer. The treatment for that cancer is scheduled for later this month. This was a shock to him as he was symptom free. His spouse is stressed not only because of her husband's health, but the fact that she has an Alzheimer's precursor. Apolipoprotein E is a variant in the main genetic risk factor for late onset Alzheimer's. Needless to say she has been involved in functional medicine treatment, hoping to successfully address this horrible disease. So both spouses are confronted with health issues as they age the seventh decade of their lives. Do these physical problems make them stronger? They are no longer horse owners and that helps relieve some of the heaviness on their plates.
We've recently had natural disasters of fire and hurricane damage in California and Florida. On the news, tremendous amounts of media coverage demonstrated the horrific damage and toll on human life and property. These people are faced with physical, psychological, and economic stress. of damage in southern Florida because of flooding, winds and so forth . Homes and businesses have been destroyed and dramatic portions of electricity power failures and the like. To top that, it's been reported that a number of the home insurance companies have gone bankrupt and left the state leaving many uninsured. I recently heard about an individual that bought property in Ft. Myers and paid 4- $500,000 for it without insurance . That individual just lost that property. With that heavy plate, how can that make his character stronger?
Physically, one can become stronger by adding additional weights and by incorporating other forms of exercise to increase strength and endurance .Aerobic activities can benefit. We marvel at the ability of young athletes in the Olympics and in professional sports. We also know that there's an early retirement from these sports. Michael Phelps dominated his sport during his illustrious career. He no longer can compete at the Olympic level as age became a significant factor for him. Tom Brady, on the other hand, has competed in professional football and is now 45 years of age. Is he the same athlete as he was 10 years ago? Is his accuracy and velocity the same or has there been some diminishment? Mentally, he's likely better equipped than he was 10 years ago. However, Tom and his wife Gisele are in the preliminary stages of separation and/or divorce. Does the stress, anxiety affect his football performance? It might be difficult to sort out the degree of physical decline, coupled with his mental stress. However, he is not the same quarterback. This year will be a test. Will Brady’s stress interfere with his successfully meeting his ego needs of achievement, dominance, xhibition, affiliation and aggression in football -his main passion ?
A number of years ago, Dr. Hans Selye studied the mind-body connection involved with stress, with patients that had similar physiological and psychological characteristics. According to Selye, it is not the stress that harms us. It’s the distress that occurs when emotional stress becomes prolonged and not dealt with, in a positive manner. He described this as the General Adaptation Syndrome which consists of three different stages, which is alarm, resistance, and exhaustion. Additional research has described the negative effects of stress-distress resulting in a number of conditions such as depression, ulcers, respiratory illness, obesity, etc. in any event, the effects of distress has been well documented and beyond the scope of this essay.
An External Stress Index, to assess the degree of stress, was established with numerical values. For example, death of the spouse was valued atf 100; divorce at 73 ,marital separation at 65 etc. According to the index,when all the values are added, the total stress value can indicate either stress relieving, average stress index of modern life, warning , or a real danger. Once again stress -distress is not fortitude but actually harms us. Should be pointed out that environmental dangers like hurricanes, fires, etc. affect us personally, interpersonally as well as economically. None of which is positive but are considered negative stresses.
Developmentally ,with aging, the ego ,with negative stress, does not develop more fortitude while meeting physiological and psychological needs within a fixed amount of psychic energy . Further, the degree, extent and frequency of stress, frustration, anger, and anxiety over time wears down the immune system .The result can lead to depression, dementia, cancer and other diseases associated with aging. A compromised immune system results in an increase in the production of free radicals and in the release of cortisol, epinephrine and norepinephrine- the stress hormones. Note, high levels of cortisol affects the body's production of antibodies. Specifically, the loss of cortisol receptors in the brain, a sign of aging, results in a heightened vulnerability to disease.In other words, an assault on ego development has negative consequences regardless. The health of the ego is important in dealing with the aging process for both mental and physical diseases, mind-body connections suggest. The heaviness on our plates interferes with need gratification and can cripple us. Thus, suffering, stress, frustration, anger ,depression and /or other diseases are not associated with strengthening one's character, but interfere with ego needs for physiological and psychological well being. Chief Joseph stated, "it does not require many words to speak the truth."
Reference
Klatz,Ronald and Goldman,Robert. Stopping The Clock.
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