One recent Sunday, I ran primarily on the street and not on the trail because of recent rain. I prefer not to run in the mud. I was on upper Cascade and ran by Bobbie's house. Linda and I first met her playing pickleball years ago. She is 85, a year older than me, and had one of her hips replaced last December. The surgeon didn't cut her thigh muscle but instead surgically went into the groin area . This procedure is better than cutting muscle. Bobbie said she just finished her walk and was exhausted. I asked her why she was exhausted and she replied loudly” because I'm old.” I replied “no you're not .Your mother was 102 and I don't see anyone else. your age doing what you're doing. ” Bobbie could have replied, I just recovered from surgery; I walked many hills; and it's great that I pushed myself. This essay has to do with thinking. I don't view her as "belonging only or chiefly to the past or appearing to be far advanced in years.”
Epicurus said, "Nothing is good or bad , but thinking makes it so." Notice that the quote has an emotional appraisal . Something considered good suggests praise , reward, pleasurable ,pleasing or liked ,while something considered bad is frowned upon, punishment, evil ,distasteful, awful, ugly etc.. Value judgments, good and bad, are initially learned in childhood before the development of reason. It's learned from parents and other important individuals. As a result, seeking approval and fear of disapproval are powerful motives for behavior. As a result, something is good or better because it serves the individual better than something else can. And good refers to the usefulness of the thing that has things for the individual that come good. For example , a good employee is when the employer considers him to be good - an advantage to him, For a teacher , the pupil is considered good when he is docile and does not cause trouble. The good child may be frightened and insecure and only wants to please by subjecting to someone's will . The bad child may have a will of his own and genuine interests that do not please and thus is bad .
The existentialists suggest that man has difficulty thinking rationally. Man is irrational especially with his emotional laden beliefs and that represents the absence of reason. In other words, man creates his illusion’s, myths ; has difficulty with reason and objectivity ; and relies on technology to deliver him from all the chaos in the world . Man tends to be inauthentic and alienated as well. Albert Camus expressed the notion that man's limitation is his inability to understand, have meaning , and live rationally in his complex, immense and contradictory world which is a philosophy of absurdity.
Sigmund Freud identified a mental apparatus that takes place in the workings of a sapiens mind. He stated that the ego employs defenses to protect itself . These defenses attempt to deal with the unpleasantness of anxiety, but are not always successful. For example, a few of Freud’s defense mechanisms include repression, projection, reaction formation, fixation, regression, denial, and rationalization . They have two characteristics in common. They deny, falsify or distort reality, and they operate unconsciously so the person is not aware of what is taking place.
Albert Ellis, an American psychologist, described the implications of perception, acting, feeling and thinking. He believed that we feel as we think and some of our ideas, attitudes and beliefs are irrational and thus self defeating. Irrationality is fictional which leads to anxiety, hostility, and self-defeating behaviors. In other words, sapiens perceive, move , emote and think simultaneously and interchangeably . These four life psychological processes are not distinctly different, but they overlap, and in some respects, are aspects of the same thing.
In order to alleviate sapien misunderstandings., oversimplifications , lip service, hate, prejudice, inappropriate actions etc. , one has to challenge illogical assumptions, myths related to attitude toward self and others. To understand the process, the following characterize man.1. Man perceives ,senses, sees ,tastes, smells and feels, 2. Man moves, walks, eats, swims, hikes, climbs etc. Perception and actions are called sensorimotor. 3. Man emotes,has feelings - loves, hates, fears, becomes guilty, disapproves etc. 4. Man thinks, reasons; remembers,; imagines; hypothesizes; consolidates; and solves problems . These are considered executive ego functioning . Emotions and thinking are called connotative and cognitive. At times, emotions dominate thinking and behavior. This often results in the irrational with repetition and a reinforcement history .
Ellis places emphasis on the ego by being able to modify the thinking process, Ellis defines emotion as "acute disturbance involving marked somatic changes which is experienced as a more or less agitated feeling. “ In other words, it's physiological, psychological, and social since others are usually the most highly emetogenic stimuli in our environment.. However, emotions can be influenced and calmed down by taking barbiturates; doing relaxation exercises such as dancing, yoga, as well as positive self talk ..
Ellis believed that ,at times, rational thinking can overcome some emotional neurotic disturbances . Emotions are a reaction, are located in the mammalian brain , complicated and important for survival , but often get in the way of rational thinking and making appropriate personal and interpersonal decisions. However, one has to be able to recognize and attack that irrational, neurotic, discriminatory emotionally based thinking. For example, Ellis suggests that the excessive need for approval (pleasing another)is a neurotic irrational reaction with moral implications. We don't have to be loved and liked by everyone. One has to be able to overcome the good and bad notions first learned in childhood. Ability to reason. develops later . We have to overcome the power, fear, weakness, insecurity and criticism based on someone else ‘s standards. We have to determine what's good and what's bad based on reason. We cannot rely on someone else or consensus to determine what is good or bad for us. Thus, overcoming the need to please , approval , fitting in , being liked and being praised can only be overcome through the use of objectivity, reasoning or rationality and feeling a sense of security ..
Another irrational reaction Ellis wrote about was eradicating blaming others but taking responsibility for your actions. Blaming ,scapegoating ,excuses are character flaws first learned as children wanting approval and fear of being punished. These children do not trust ,but lie, cheat, deceive and are sneaky in getting away with their misdeeds. Lying is reinforced and they become the same. They master the art of not being accountable with their denials , rationalizations etc.
A recent example of parents not taking responsibility has to do with the current trial in Oakland, Michigan. Parents were found guilty as their 15-year-old son murdered 4 fellow students and wounded six others, including a teacher. The parents were talking to the judge before sentencing. They were begging the judge to show mercy and reduce their sentencing. The parents talked about being good parents , were sorry for the harm they caused to the victim's parents , said it could happen to anyone, their heart ached , and they were ever so sorry and looked for mercy. However, neither parent took any responsibility for their son having a weapon and pulling the trigger that day. They purchased the weapon for their son and took smiling pictures of the family with the firearm. They demonstrated and modeled not taking 1 ounce of responsibility.. Sorry’s are not the issue
It's difficult to overcome the influences of the past , especially If they are not known . These incidents have to be brought to consciousness . It's important to look at failures, frustrations, and erroneous decisions. It's also important to change thinking that can change actions.
Allowing a fear of failure to interfere with some action is irrational and self defeating. Fear of failure has to do with a number of variables, especially anxiety. Achievement ,dissonance ,reinforcement , expectations., completed tasks, etc. play a part .Reinforcing an individual for their autonomy and initiative are significant. Perfection does not exist. In other words, supporting an individual when facing difficult tasks while recognizing the individual effort. Appropriate expectations with feedback like “ you're doing great, keep up the good work, and that's terrific “ is important in building self confidence. Also important for the individual is to be able to reduce the anxiety by acknowledging it. It's understandable that one experiences anxiety and the key is to be able to reduce that anxiety. When watching an NBA player taking the free-throw, they focus on the basket, make a motor motion and then do a breathing exercise before taking the shot. Also, research has shown that low achievers are more susceptible than high achievers for a fear of failure. Steph Curry, Clay Thompson, and others do not shy away from taking the last shot to win the game. They relish it. Epicurus said, "The greater the difficulty, the more the glory in surmounting it."
I was 61 when I decided to run Western States. To complete that goal , I focused on long distance training runs of 25 to 30 miles before I had to run a 50 mile qualifier. I teamed up with another competitive runner, read appropriate materials and talked with friends about being pacers. I had a positive mindset. Fear of failure was not present .
Broadly speaking psychologically and philosophically, because of a repetitive history of reinforcement,and irrational impulses, It's difficult to think and act morally and ethically.especially in a culture with a powerful, leader with supernatural qualities, powerful technology, and material success .With this being said, we have become an easy prey to irrational authoritarianism in which the authority lays down the laws and norms of conduct.. Rationality, objectivity and reason continue to be under attack.
PS
According to Marcus Aurelius “You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength,🙂
Reference
Ellis, Albert and Harper, Robert. A Guide to Rational Living.
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