Happiness Is a Pain

This essay complements a previous post regarding the seeking of pleasure and avoiding pain. Thomas Jefferson included the pursuit of happiness in the Constitution. The early Greek philosophers-Socrates, Plato, Aristotle and other’s explored the notion of behavior in terms of seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. And, seeking pleasure was equated with happiness which was considered pleasure.  The Greeks included other concepts in pursuing happiness like knowledge and wisdom. Freud Incorporated seeking pleasure within his concept of the pleasure principle and later added Thanatos – the destructive drive. However, it’s my contention that the need for pain or discomfort is a formidable barrier that interferes with achieving pleasure and satisfaction. In fact, goal seeking behaviors are often accompanied with painful consequences.   Murray called the motivation for self-inflicted pain an Abasement need.

It’s common knowledge that we begin life, at birth, with pain, discomfort, anxiety, fear, dependency, and being alone. And, if it’s not for a nurturing caretaker to meet our physiological needs, we perish. So our beginning is based on the gratification of our physiological needs along with the accompanying tension system of pain and/or discomfort. The baby is taken from the mother, slapped and then cries. Is this pleasure or happiness?  How‘s this for an introduction to the external world? Further, our psychosocial development is based on adapting and confronting unconsciously our precarious place within our psychological space. Essentially, we developed competencies in an attempt to master the many negatives and challenges surrounding our development. These competencies were difficult and often painful to achieve i.e., walking without falling.

In our capitalistic economic society, power, possessions, fame, control and perhaps well-being is believed to be based on the accumulation of capital. The acquiring of capital is admired especially by those that don’t have it. We can acquire capital through inheritance, trust fund, or create some technical device. We are told, statistically, that college graduates earn more than non-college graduates. Again, we are told that graduate and professional degree holders do quite well economically. Climbing the corporate ladder, employment on Wall Street, or running a large corporation can result in becoming part of the 1%. For others, chasing money, earning a living, or receiving government assistance matters. The accumulation of money is expected to result in achieving happiness but always has a personal cost connected with it. Steve Jobs died young with all that fame, fortune and impaired family ties. Andrew Luck achieved fame and fortune and then retired at age 29 as a result of injuries- “It wasn’t fun anymore.”

Securing that special job; purchasing that dream house; winning the lottery brings happiness or does it bring devices or things that mask the unhappiness or pain in the present. Yes, receiving that promotion results initially with a positive feeling. Unfortunately, that positive feeling doesn’t last because of the boredom, satiation and sameness of the job.  We can change employment; change relationships and wives; change our automobiles, homes and other economically based things. Acquiring and chasing do not result in long-term happiness or pleasure. Unfortunately, it’s only a mask, a temporary fix, for relieving the difficulty with the anxiety in living. How many divorces occur after purchasing that “dream house? “

Man has created many diversions, aids, devices and opportunities to alleviate his existential threat of being on this planet. Let’s just take a look at our bodies with its decay and aging. For instance, there are changes to our HGH; DHEA; estrogen and progesterone; and testosterone levels. These reduced changes affect us significantly. There are numerous minerals and vitamins supplements that are suggested for use or compensations. Where told to eat nutritiously, engage in movement and challenge our minds. The cliché is “use it or lose it,” but only if you can.  And, in the end we all die.

Linda had a reverse shoulder replacement {from an equine accident} roughly three months ago. For the previous two years  she put herself through physical therapy,  changed her diet significantly, and took numerous nutrients in an attempt to alleviate her pain and suffering. She did not have much fun during that period of time. That pain affected significantly her well-being, and as a last resort she decided to have surgery. Currently, after much discomfort during her rehabilitation, she is doing better and has less pain to avoid.  However, she has to be careful not to exacerbate her physical limitations.

My father had juvenile diabetes and he talked about his future which entailed the crippling of his body. He was in and out of the hospital on many occasions during my youth and adulthood. They started amputating and he died shortly thereafter reaching 70 years of age. He didn’t experience much pleasure during his life. Let’s look at more recent history.

For the last 22 years my attention or my illusion have centered on my body. The book “Stopping the Clock” was my Bible. I set out to fight, deter and change the inevitable. The inevitable is that I’m aging and all I have to do is look in the mirror to see that happening even though my mental life entertains adolescent thoughts at times. Once again, in this regard, I’m not pursuing pleasure but I’m attempting to avoid pain and the reality of atrophy.

In part for my health and well-being, my goal was to run the Western States 100 mile endurance run. For the most part, the grueling miles of trail running resulted in pain and overuse injuries. On a positive note, my training partner was a young good-looking female. I wouldn’t call it pleasure but I would call it a very pleasant distraction from the physical exertion. I also wouldn’t call running the Western States pleasurable. There was considerable performance anxiety prior to the run and I did not welcome being bitten by mosquitoes traversing over Squaw Valley. It was hot, with a dirty trail and physically exhausting. Moments of relief came from arriving at an aid station and interacting with the many acquaintances during the event. At Robinson Flat, I was joined by Jim my first pacer. Once again that was a pleasant distraction but it did not eliminate the pain. After crossing No Hands Bridge, Jerome, another friend and new pacer, encouraged me to overtake others ahead of me. I did so. Did I experience happiness? Happiness no, satisfaction yes. I finished, and was an age division winner. Did I then experience happiness? No, but I did find relief and tremendous satisfaction. When I got home, I puked. No happiness there. Yes, I did not avoid pain but in fact I subjected myself to it. Am I now healthier?

I know about diversions in attempting to avoid pain and to disguise reality. The corporations and big business have also figured out about minimizing pain by disguising everyday reality. We can distort pain through the wonderful world of chemicals as in alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes. We’re making these chemical aids more legal in state after state. Is there a relationship with withdrawal from the environment and people and pleasure or happiness? We can distort and minimize pain through the medical and pharmaceutical industry. Surgery and opioid dependence and addiction are examples of attempts to reduce pain. The entertainment industry has many vehicles for relief. Once again these are temporary and may provide short-term pleasure. Vacations, shorter work weeks, and affairs are short-term attempts in reaching happiness. Simply put, they are superficial and can result in long-term negativity.  The Abasement need is dominant. Suicide rate among military and police and the opioid epidemic are facts.

In conclusion, the drive to seek pleasure is very strong as well as the motivation to self-inflict. Big business has figured out ways to feed that enormous contradiction cavity in our being. It doesn’t matter if it’s short-term or long-term at this point. Obviously, some relief is better than no relief from the challenge in living. We’ve been brainwashed or brain massaged to believe that chasing money or greed is good.  In fact our capitalistic economy is based on just that fact. One other point not addressed is the fact that man with his imagination and cognitive tools, can tell himself and rationalize all kinds of things like “I’m happy.”  Reality can be distorted through the use of various defense mechanisms. We humans are terrific at harming ourselves during the illusion of happiness.