Yesterday

 

Recently I heard and thought about the Beatles song "Yesterday."  Then I saw the movie "Splendor in the Grass."  And currently I'm thinking about the poem "To an Athlete Dying Young" along with Viktor Frankel's “Man's Search for Meaning “These  works of art were written by Paul McCartney, A.E. Housman  and William Wordsworth  and all express  aspects of  human suffering

A few verses in McCartney's song "Yesterday."  Verse 1 Yesterday  All my troubles seemed so far away  Now it looks as though they're here to stay  .  Oh, I believe in yesterday  Verse 2  Suddenly  I'm not half the man I used to be  .  There's a shadow hanging over me. Oh, yesterday suddenly came .  Bridge  Why did she have to go?  I don't know, she wouldn't say   .  I said something wrong  Now I long for yesterday

These lyrics suggest that this person experienced and believed that he had a real romantic and solid connection with a female.  Yet, the fact that she left and wouldn't say why does not suggest a meaningful love relationship.  Mature love without meaningful communication suggests that perhaps their” love” was based on infatuation .So much for illusions. His suffering was likely based on his unmet dependency needs  and loss. Separation and loss is difficult and associated with suffering..lonliness, anxiety and/or depression..

In the Splendor in the Grass movie ,the main characters were Natalie Wood (Wilma) and Warren Beatty (Bud).  These two high school aged individuals were depicted romantically.  Wilma was told by her mother to be a good girl  by not “ going all the way” because that would ruin her for life.  Wilma was conflicted and when Bud broke off the relationship.,she became depressed and made a suicide gesture.  She was hospitalized and met a physician-patient.  He left to start a practice in Cincinnati and upon her release they planned to marry.  Before leaving for Cincinnati, she visited Bud.

Bud , the high school football hero also wanted to have sex but  was told by his wealthy  father to have sex with another girl ;go to Yale and then come back and marry Wilma .The depressed football hero wanted to marry Wilma and become  a farmer now ,not later . However he also obeyed his parents and attended  college,where he flunked out. He met a girl there, brought her back home ,and started a family on the farm during the depression. By the way, Bud’s father jumped out of a window in New York as he lost all of his wealth.

The movie portrays the teenage  past as being a very special time with the active libidos of adolescence searching for their  identities. Developmentally, they were not emotionally ready to proceed to Erikson’s next psychosocial stage -Intimacy vs. isolation . In essence, these two teenagers were infatuated with each other as opposed to experiencing a mature love. We find Bud's current situation overshadowed by the hard times during the depression and Wilma’ on the path of finding a mature  love. Both experienced joy,  emotional highs, strong sexual urges ,friendship ,fun, competition and suffering during the troubling time of their  adolescent years .

Before leaving for Cincinnati.  Wilma visited a married Bud , a farmer, and with a young son and a pregnant wife .  This was Bud's reality.  Wilma, on the other hand, was off to meet her future husband.  Thus, both Wilma and Bud’s identities were suspect  . Their “love” was not mature as they easily and quickly found replacements . We do not know much about Wima nor the young farmer’s ability to be a father and provider . And,  in their history both experienced a crush, an attachment , loss and misery .

This culture places too much emphasis on youth and beauty.  The  cliché, "it's all downhill after high school"  is foolish, illogical and not at all correct.  After high school, brain size ,intelligence and physique  increased ;played college football; taught junior high English and became a junior high counselor; was an assistant professor at a community college and university; was a licensed and practicing independent psychologist; became one of four individuals to complete the 100 mile Tevis Cup, Western States 100  age division  winner and  winner of the100 mile Ride and Tie; published two books; wrote 14 years of weekly essays; met a preponderance of good character, male and female friends; maintained long-term high school friendships and began a union with Linda are just some of the wonderful experiences experienced. There was also misery with loss of parents, family members, friends and friendships.

 

In Housman's poem, there was a young athlete that received all types of glory from the town.  He was a hero, they cheered, they carried him home on their shoulders and yet he died early.  So one's early years can be  described as outstanding ,exciting and achievement at a high level. However, is glory and fame short lived ?

OJ comes to mind.  This all-American All-Pro was at the top of his game until he became seriously injured and could not perform.  The superstar then went into the movies, made commercials and married an extremely beautiful woman.  Yet this troubled soul was insecure, and succumbed to his jealousy and more than likely murdered his wife and her friend.  And things went downhill from there.  He was never again that all-American boy. With his downfall , his glory ended and misery had to do with him and only him.

More recently Alysa Liu the 20-year-old female from Oakland won the figure skating gold medal in the Olympics.  At the moment she is just one of seven other American women ever to win that Olympic gold.  She's attractive, vivacious, and an outstanding skater who had earlier retired.  But then reentered the competition. She stated her retirement was about wanting to be a teenager and do things that teenagers experience and that can only be done by stepping away from the misery of being controlled and being a prisoner to the sport.  Her misery was cut short as she reentered training shortly thereafter , competed and won. Her story is continuing.

Just think of all the  fame, popularity , glory and wealth of Elvis ,Michael ,Whitney,Jim Morrison and other entertainers.  On the surface they seemed to be on top of the world and so happy when performing. Yet ,their misery was "hidden" from the public .And their decision to revert to drugs was self-destructive for each. Thus, suicide ended the misery for each.For them, fame,poularity ,glory and wealth did not address or compensate for  their emotional weaknesses. 

Dr. Frankel, a psychiatrist, discovered and modified Logotherapy, which was his version of modern existential analysis, while in a Nazi concentration camp.  His work therapeutically was with many in the dire and miserable conditions they faced . Many of these individuals  had illustrious ,prodigious  and outstanding professional  careers prior. Now, they were  prisoners, many of which had difficulty coping with all their  misery, pain, loss  and misfortune .

Briefly. Dr. Frankel worked with “patients” applying  Logotherapy . His treatment helped the survivors find meaning ,values and take responsibility moment to moment with the misery they were experiencing . And, it did not  necessarily help to focus on past glory or achievements.  The present and the future were keys for their survival. The men without a future goal found it difficult to survive and man had  to focus on being meaningful and purposeful while not giving up.  The past can be associated with decay, death and illness or many positives and yet man has to look inside for his inner strength in the present while looking towards the future. 

And as Nitschke said, "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how."And, when running Western StatesI had to continuously  remind myself to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Essentially, it's important for man not to remain in the state of homeostasis.  For survival, man needs to create tension systems, which encompasses striving to facilitate  goal achievement.  In doing so, one uses his mind to assess the project, plan, contemplate barriers and think about strategies and expectations for success.  In other words, one's mind is used productively and creatively which is called thinking realistically  which is necessary and important for man’ s wellbeing .

Generally speaking,  youth biologically and  developmentally speaking  does not remain constant.  That does not mean psychologically that feelings,desires,passion ,libido and goals, no longer exist.  By the same token, being human means experiencing at times distress ,discomforts,unhappiness and hardship as misery and suffering are basic conditions of existence..  For instance, in my first book, "It Has Nothing to Do with Age," I interviewed seven extraordinary human beings who were 65 years of age or older and were still competing in extraordinary sports.  Every one of those male and females experienced achievement, optimism, glory, and the wonders of life as well as dealing with their own feelings of hardship, anxiety, grief  sadness.and misery  Further, the same could be said of the nine University of Michigan football players in my second book, "Bo' s Warriors."Human beings can not escape ,at times, the human condition of feelings of misery .

Developmentally, life does not  begin nor end during the stage of adolescence.  This is only one of the stages that we experience joy,lust, friendship, belonging, and achievement. Today, while working out at  Ironworks, a young man, a personal trainer ,asked me about my age.  After I told him my age, he said that when he would be thinking about whether or not to go to the gym for a workout, he would think of me and get his ass off the couch.