Terrific Memories

 Episodic declarative memory is long-term memory of personally experienced events.  This remembered string of time-based life events is essentially  an autobiographical memory.  Memory is paramount when it comes to well-being, especially  over a lifetime.  Significant events define who we are.  The ability to communicate is also based on memory and the potential for an in-depth relationship that allows one to experience empathy , union , and trust between individuals.  With the absence or decline from normal aging or disruption  from brain injury and dementia, the effects are noticeable when it comes to inter and intrapersonal interaction.  This essay pertains to ego needs ,identity, sports ,memory and my friend Ed Budde , 

Ed passed away on December 19 , 2023 at the age of 83.  Ed played professional football for 14 years.  His major decision at the time was whether  to play for the Philadelphia Eagles or the Kansas City Chiefs.  He chose the Chiefs and played in the first Super Bowl against the Green Bay Packers.  He was a first-round draft choice for the Chiefs as was his oldest son Brad.

In 1954 I was a freshman at Denby high school.  Denby had a freshman , reserve and varsity football team coached by Ed Rutherford and Jack Rice .  As a freshman , on the reserve team, I met Bob Budde , Ed's  older brother.  Ed was an 8th grader at the time.  Brother Bob got him a Denby reserve jersey for practice .

As a senior, I was the starting right guard and next me  playing right tackle was Ed.  That season against Eastern high school, the Detroit Free Press rewarded us as  linemen players of the week.  We had our picture taken  and that's when I first met Carolyn  . I still have that photograph taken by the Detroit Free Press. I'm the  shorter  one and wearing number 60 on my jersey and Ed is wearing 70 on his.  I earned all city honors and Ed earned All-American honors. During that season, Denby allowed three touchdowns . Southeastern had one; archrival Pershing had one and U of D had one.  We averaged close to seven touchdowns per game.  We didn't play for the city championship which is another story and beyond today's  scope .

On one occasion , in Denby’s  gymnasium , Ed and I had a wrestling  match . He was unable to put me down nor was I able to do likewise.  I called that encounter a draw. Later, I took on 2 Notre Dame high school football players - Vince was their starting  fullback and Steve their starting tackle at the same time, in the same gym.  I had no trouble disposing of both .  Carolyn, Ed's  girlfriend, became pregnant with Brad, and had to leave school.  After graduation, I went to the University of  Detroit on scholarship and the following year Ed entered Michigan State University where he earned All-American honors playing for Coach Duffy Doherty.

In 2008, I reconnected with Ed and Carolyn.  Ed invited me to attend an NFL alumni gathering in Southern California.  There, Carolyn and I danced and I met Brad.  That year, Denby's graduating class was having a reunion.  I suggested to Ed that he and Carolyn also attend .  They did attend that reunion . Of course all the Denby football players at that 50 th reunion sat at one table telling stories and laughing a lot.   There was Larry H and his spouse , Rudy N, Mitch N, Carolyn and Ed, and Ron T.  

During our junior year,  Ron T was the starting middle guard  on defense.  That season I broke my leg, watched on crutches Denby's public school  championship win and our 26-20 loss to De La Salle in the city championship Goodfellow game.  However, the next season, I became our starting middle guard  on defense while Ron became the starting middle linebacker. On offense I was starting right guard and Ron was the starting left guard.  We dominated ,ran up big scores in the first half  and our team was called , by the sports writers, one of the very  best  in our state history .  In the 3rd quarter, coach Rutherford moved me to left guard so I  played the entire game.   

In 2009, "It Has Nothing to Do with Age"  was published . I talked with Ed about doing a book signing in Kansas City.  He agreed and set up various venues.  Linda's sister Bretta also lived in Kansas City and we all got together.  Ed's good friend Conrad Dobler’s  book, "Pride and Perseverance: A Story of Courage, Hope and Redemption"  was also  just published . Ed invited Connie to join us at the book signings.  There, I got to meet Connie, a real character.  After a number of book signings, Ed invited us to attend Kansas City Chiefs alumni fundraisers.  Linda, Bretta and I enjoyed the hospitality of the Budde Family when we also met Brad's two younger siblings as well.

 Ego needs are the foundation of identity that evolves during the psychosocial stage of adolescence, and with memory assist in the  description of character and begin to answer the "Who am I "  question. Personally, the activity and experience of individual and team athletics  provide a basis in  answering that thought provoking  question . The existence , expression, and satisfaction of the following ego needs that occur during sports are the following: 1. Abasement is to accept injury, blame,  criticism and punishment.  It was not uncommon for an overuse injury and/or physical injury to occur.  Various treatments and strategies such as  nasid's, hot and cold, physical therapy, chiropractic , massage and/or orthopedic treatment, orthotics, bands, specified gear,  wearing apparel, free weights, machines, bands, nutritional aids and so forth are part of the journey , An individuals perseverance and mental toughness are two descriptions commonly employed.  2.  Achievement is the ability to accomplish something difficult, to master physical objects, and/or human beings, goals, etc. as with coming in first place, winning in your age division, making first string and so forth.  3.  Aggression is to overcome opposition forcefully.  Winning at the line of scrimmage, on the football field , winning at wrestling are examples .  4.  Counteraction is to make up for failure , to maintain self-respect.  Coming in second to an individual,  and then beating that person at the finish line in another race and being promoted to first string .  5.  Deference is to admire and support a superior as well as to emulate.  Being second string and admiring one's teammate.  6.  Dominance is to control one's human environment.  An example would be to effectively and successfully block one's defensive opponent.  7.  Exhibition is to make an impression and to be seen and heard by performing in front of others.  8.  Nurturance to assist, help, support, console,comfort an injured teammate 9.  Succorance is to have one’s need gratified by the aid of an allied object , to be advised, guided and to have a supporter which could be a coach 10.  Play is to participate in sports,to laugh, to make jokes.  Play begins very early with development of motor and cognitive abilities as with imagination, fantasy and so forth. I’m still playing with my running.   And last but not least is 11.  Affiliation to  cooperate or reciprocate with an allied  and to remain loyal .  The expression I want to be in a foxhole with that individual is one example of the power of interpersonal dependence.  All in all, my ego needs, identity , athletics and memory of Ed Budde provide a glimpse  into  Who am I.