Parenting 1

 

Freud emphasized child rearing experiences in his biological model of personality formation.  Neo-Freudians such as Adler, Horney Fromm, others and more recently Erikson  placed additional emphasis on the influence of society, economics ,religion and politics  on the developing personality. Since  the Middle Ages,  the Renaissance and the Reformation,the  family, social , political ,religious ,technological, and economic forces affecting man's development have changed  significantly . This brief disquisition associates the impact of today's society and technology affecting child rearing on  the development of the Gen X personality. An article titled "There Is a Way to Bring Back Childhood “in the June 22, 2025 edition of The New York Times was pertinent.

Early on, the religious ideas of Luther and Calvin pointed to a powerful authoritarian God who had unrestricted power over man. And man was taught to accept his powerlessness and evilness. But,  he could atone for his sins only by his submission to God. The  idea of God has altered but not the authoritarian -slave-dynamic economically and politically.

A compulsion to work ,passion for thrift and a sense of duty were ,early on, significant character traits  necessary and important tendencies for production  and profit in the rapidly developing capitalistic economy. With that being said, at one time multiple children were  reared  traditionally by both a mother and father and mother was a stay at home mom.The children learned and incorporated their beliefs and responsibilities to God, to each other and to others  as in the Golden Rule..

It’s clear that economically and psychologically, capitalism is predicated on  profitable consumption; meeting of  physiological needs ;perpetuating  the demand and desire for things, items,and objects ;searching for and pursuing  happiness,  “the American Dream;”power ,possession and status.  Briefly, it's  supply ,demand , profit and consumption.

Back in the day, I was reared by mom and dad and lived with my two sibs.  Dad worked outside the home and mom remained at home and ran the household.  Economically , dad provided for  our family on his  salary.  Mom,Bev,  Ron and I had breakfast together-dad had left for work; we  kids had lunch at school and the entire family ate dinner together .  That was  also the norm for  my  neighbors - Klaus,Noseda,Morrison,Russo, Forsyth, Pringle and Peppler families. I was cognizant about religion, economics, socialization, education and preparing for a career.  Plus,my grandparents resided nearby and all my aunts, uncles and cousins  on mom's side lived in Detroit as well .

Later, child rearing changed  because of parents chasing the economic propaganda of "Keeping up with the Jones ;" the rate of divorce  increased; moms entered the work force  and  children were saddled with multiple caretakers.  These  changes had a disastrous effect on the child's emotional,intellectual , moral and behavioral development . Other influences occurred like diminished church attendance ,  scandals; political ineptness and division ; numerous military involvements  and  a war on drugs as well.  Additionally, homeland freedoms diminished;  income discrepancy flourished ; homelessness; poverty ,  debt and  young adults  not being able to leave home increased ; school achievement declined  while college became unaffordable and technology became the new "god."

To make matters worse, remote work also contributed to isolation and a deterioration in mental health as individuals felt lless connected.Further, Plato warned us about wealth disparity and in the Republic stated that “ significant wealth disparity is not a state at all  but rather  two states, the  one of poor, the other of rich men , and they are living on the same spot and always conspiring against one another.”

Within the changes previously mentioned, a receptive character orientation tendency was developing and also being reinforced by  capitalism and its technology. This receptive  character orientation requires support from the outside-parents, friends, consensus, authorities, God and authoritarians.  Because the person believes that the only way to get what he wants, be it material, affection, love, knowledge, pleasure, etc. is to receive it from that outside source.  In other words, in this orientation , the problem of love is almost exclusively that of "being loved" and not that of loving.  

These people tend to be indiscriminate in their choice of the love objects and they "fall for anybody or anything that gives them love or what looks like love.”If intelligent, they make the best listeners since  their orientation is one of receiving.  It is the characteristic of these individuals and their first thought is to find somebody else or something else to give them that needed information or input rather than to make even the smallest effort to find the answer on their own. And,they are proficient at rationalizing their behavior.

Their critical thinking has been replaced and their reliance on memory has been greatly reduced.  Intellectually they are most susceptible , follow consensus and rely on someone or something else for decision making .

By themselves, these people feel helpless and alone.  However, they are also optimistic, friendly, loving when things go well, but easily become anxious and distraught with any rebuff or equivocation on the part of authorities because  they depend on the strength of their masters for their security and well-being even if the masters are selfish , exploitative , sadistic, don’t care and cruel.

These individuals also find consolation in eating, drinking, smoking  and the dream of being fed as a sign of being loved-issues with obesity come to mind.  This group is easily exploited by misleading advertising with its fast food bargains.  In other words, the power of the  food , nutrition and health industries are easily able to exploit their consumers.  Further, there’s a plethora of get rich  schemes;  well-being and happiness books  advertised and an excess   of  electronic apps and gadgets available for these vulnerable characters. We even have a gadget that allows us to remain seated while changing TV channels .

To be continued.

Amorality

 

About 5,786 years ago, according to the  Old Testament , Moses wrote God’s  10 commandments. In Exodus or  the second book, written in stone ,were Commandment V111 'You shall not steal "'and Commandment 1X “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. "  Both  commandments clearly and concretely describe negative, inappropriate interpersonal interactions  according to God's  moral precepts for righteous living.  Yet, turning to today's  politics and culture, it is obvious  that those two commandments seem irrelevant at times . A few synonyms for lie  to consider include deceive, fool,trick, mislead ,delude,fabricate  and falsehood Also, synonyms for steal include theft, larceny, thievery, pilfer, loot, embezzle,cheat, and take.The following provides  some of the motivations concerning both lying and stealing .

In Sigmund Freud's model, in a condensed version, conscience is formed in the superego early on and is related to  both the Oedipal complex and the development of the ego ideal.And specifically, initial helplessness of the child leads to feelings of inferiority and compensatory strivings for power. 

Parents are the main sources for gratification of needs ,safety and love resulting in dependence for the young child. The loss of affection ,love and safety results in significant fear that’s associated with the parental behaviors .Inherently, it’s all about the child’s  identification as he incorporates the wishes and demands of his parents.

This lays the groundwork for the development of a   conscience  which becomes the  super ego’s inner voice of the parents and cultures  moral values . Essentially, the young child learns and incorporates  ,with internalization, the means of how to  gain  approval and love   as well as how to avoid disapproval and the loss of love based on his actions .Doing what the parents dictates for right and wrong generally leads to affection, safety and belonging .

Fundamentally, it’s about the interpersonal interactions between child and parent that  superego(conscience) . And, depending on a history of  consequential experiences , is the voice of one’s conscience gentle and friendly when it comes to right and wrong or does  the conscience  become severe and cruel ? In other words, there can be a serious failure -irrationality in superego development, especially with an internal image of a troubled parent , parents or others  that’s associated with antisocial character tendencies.  And as an adult, that's usually coupled with inadequate inner controls which leads to destructive , deplorable  and narcissistic behavior .

Anna Freud categorized three types of lying.  First, delinquent lying was a deliberate attempt to gain advantage and to avoid punishment.  Second, innocent lying was being unable to separate inner and outer reality which is objective untruth, but valid from an individual's viewpoint, perhaps from ignorance.  Third, fantasy lying  was a wish to believe  in one's own  fabrication.  Obviously there is some connection between the three categorizations.

In the conscience ( right & wrong) is learned ,developed and highly related to the family dynamics  For instance, 1.  Is there an accomplice in the lies?   When the phone rings and asks for dad,and dad  tells his son  "tell him I'm not here ? “ Does mother say  regarding  spending money , "don't tell your father."  2.  Do the rules for truthfulness differ between what's told in the family versus what's told outside the family? Lying also requires an audience.3. Are the lies a cover up for not knowing - a fear of failure  exposing inadequacy ?

 

Psychologically, the superego’s, right from wrong,  can be easily overridden or ignored with intoxication from drugs , alcohol,  internal desires , peer group pressure , some code or belief ,  group consensus or because it comes from  a powerful flamboyant  narcissist.

Extensive lying is associated with a sense of personal weakness , fear of loss of control and/or personal sense of inadequacy.  Trump’s history of lying ,his individual experiences , and his lack of discomfort with his untruthfulness.Is well documented. He shows no remorse and doesn’t accept any responsibility for all of his lies,misinformation and deceit .Many of his lies seem related to his lack of  knowledge .

 Trump , however, when  emotionally disturbed,  aggressively  attacks, avoids or walks out, from the “fake media “ reporters especially  questions regarding  Epstein,tariffs,Iran , Biden . stolen elections and his grift .He denies and does not take any responsibility for his deceitful behavior.

Trump is a master at deceiving himself  as he believes in his fabrications and provides emotionally unimportant  statements which are not factually true. Pseudologia means that he goes to considerable trouble to make his stories plausible, including facts and inferences which lend a surface ferocity to it. His election lies are just one example .

With his excessive lying , he employs an extensive use of denial which interferes with logical thinking and is a predisposition for his aggressively verbally  acting out behaviors and his constant flip flopping responses. He’s full of contradictions and difficult to follow But, behaviorally he’ s accumulated more money  since 2025  ( last 18 months) than  in his entire lifetime of deceit .

With television and social media technology, the code of untruthfulness is internalized in the political attitude.  Constantly, so-called news programs conduct interviews with politicians.  Rarely does the politician answer the question but  instead presents his own talking points irrespective of the truth or question .  George Orwell's  1984 novel  brilliantly described the doubletalk by their Ministry of Truth  with 3 party slogans - War Is Peace; Freedom  Is Slavery and Ignorance  Is Strength.  Orwell’s relevance is paramount to today.And that “prediction” was written as recently as 1949.

A few comments about stealing . Our society places a tremendous value on money and the wealthy are easily able to protect their own from the consequences. Again, right and wrong begins with the superego in early childhood. What behaviors do the  parents  consistently reinforce  ?

From a developmental point of view:1. What is the extent of emotional deprivation for the child ?  Stealing can  be an “equalization” and/ or a substitution for affection-"I'm entitled."  Stealing behavior maintains the fiction of being loved 2.Does the stolen object provide security or meet some other ego need? 3.  Is stealing an act of revenge and easy because the enemy may be regarded as weak?  4.  Does stealing curry favor from the peer group or group at large ? 5.  Is stealing an act of bravado or some initiation ritual ? 6.  Is stealing an act of moral conduct ? Stealing from another is not ok but stealing or cheating the government ,insurance company is ok.  7.  Is stealing  associated with a  getting even behavior ,with parents  8. Is stealing   a projection of one's own hostility onto others in which they view others as exploitive, unreliable,  or just not worthy? 9. Is stealing an act to deprive,humiliate  and dominate ? 

Generally, stealing  behavior is often related to underlying depression and/or emptiness ;of  impotent fantasies which leads to alienation of and toward  others.  It appears that Trump and his governmental  cohorts are in fact rigid, empty , hostile  and exploitative.  Therefore , it’s not surprising that they would project on to others as being inferior, not worthy aliens and not deserving. Their  stealing policies result in excessive discrimination and not caring about the consequences, as long as they hold the power. 

Victor Hugo's Les Miserables  tells the story of Jean Valjean  and his experience with the law because he stole a loaf of bread to feed his sister's seven starving children.  Today's story with Trump and the billionaires demonstrates their toxicity and their inhumanity  toward so many and how the powerful avoid  negative consequences.

Trump, his family, his cabinet, his senators, his congressmen, his Supreme Court , his billionaires and Musk   all have a basic personality of emotional characterological  tendencies  and actions associated  consciously or unconsciously with passions of greed, exploitation, mendaciousness and thievery.  At this juncture, conscience, commandments, hell, incarceration, fines, and the rule of law have been inconsequential or moot .  Will any form of righteous justice ever occur  for these repugnant sycophants in our galaxy ?   

During Trump's first term as president, he’s made over 30,573 false or misleading statements .Since 2025, Trump  made over 21,000 security trades valuing between $600million - to 1.86 billion dollars according to Chat GPT.

.Reference

Disturbance of Development.  Basic Handbook of Child Psychiatry.

Thom  Darden and I have been invited by the University of Michigan Alumni to host a webinar regarding Bo's Warriors.  The event is scheduled for August 16, a Sunday, at 1 PM Pacific coast time.  To register for the event 

https://umalumni.my.site.com/s/lt-event?id=a1QUS00000C3rAX2AZ 

Gen Z

 

Today's essay has to do with the recent conversation that Linda and I had with a  Gen Z young man.  Karl Marx's ideas regarding management, labor and alienation and Sigmund Freud's concept of transference are pertinent.

Alienation refers to the psychological process in which humans become alien, at odds, in their thinking, feeling, and loving with other humans. Marx's concern was that under the conditions of capitalism,man became estranged from his own creative powers and the object of his work became alien to him . He became an anonymous, insignificant  number .These objects   eventually ruled over him and became powers independent of him.  "Labor exists for the purpose of production and not the process of production for the labor."  

 For Marx, socialism was never about the equalization of income.  It was essentially emancipation from alienation and not inequality of money.  An increase  in “wages" becomes  a better remuneration of slaves and would not restore ,either the worker to  the work  or their human  significance and worth . “ The division between labor and management interferes with the ability of man to connect with himself and develop his powers in order to be able to love and respect himself and the ability to love and respect others.  In other words,  alienation transformed man into a thing as well as making him a slave of things in our society of consumption

Marx  was concerned with the liberation of man from the kind of non challenging work which destroyed his individuality, which transformed him into a thing  and which made him into the slave of things.  It was a mode of production that destroyed individuality and enslaved man in the process.   And one consequence of this division was that the worker became poorer . And, the more the worker expended himself in work, the more powerful the world of objects that he had created  becomes .This results in him becoming poorer in his inner life and the less he belongs to himself .In other words, the object of  his production  is alien and hostile to man by mindless ,boring repetition  and his powerlessness and insignificance in the process.

In  the handicraft world, the worker made use of the tools and now it's the other way around - it’s the machines that make use of him.  In other words, at one time man was autonomous and created things with the use of tools but now it's the machine that becomes more omnipotent and significant .Man is now a cog, a thing , a non -enity in the production .

For Marx, socialism was a society in which the man experienced himself as the subject of his own powers and was able emancipate himself from the bondage of  things and circumstances In order to more fully develop a sense and capacity for love of self and the love for others 

Today in our capitalistic  consumption technological society, the worker, although needed for production, is becoming less, and less valued.  For example, an article in the June 14, 2026 edition of The New York Times was titled "Billionaires Billions Are Increasing Faster Than Ever."  That article described how the richest families and stockholders are increasing their political influence; why the rapid rise in wealth and  that the billionaires are accelerating their wealth  at the same time that the workers are getting a smaller share of the profits.  In other words, businesses have shifted the balance of power in the economy, allowing owners rather than workers to gobble up more financial rewards.  The top 0.1% of Americans, a group  of about 135,000 households own stocks, that total 13.7 trillion nearly double owned by the bottom 90% of Americans , a group of about 115 million households. And workers have less freedom, power because of the dominance, exploitation and unfair tax codes .

Essentially, man is becoming increasingly poor, even though there’s  an increasing need for money and this need for money is a real need created by the modern  capitalistic economy. In our society ,this only creates excess and  as a result greed for the favored but  exploitation, deprivation and alienation for the others. It’s the  commodity, the  possessions , the power  in how man relates himself and his status. The cliche “The one with the most and biggest toys wins.”

Our  society of consumption  affects man's tendencies.  For example, within a receptive  character orientation,the person feels that the source of all good comes from the outside.  He believes that the only way to get what he wants- something material , affection, love, knowledge,and/or   pleasure is to receive it from an outside source.  This results in seeking  a magic helper ; being loyal and dependent on others for knowledge , support ,making decisions and taking responsibility. On the negative side, man can be penniless, submissive, insecure, lacking self confidence, unrealistic , gullible and  wishful .

A brief story about our personable young man follows: 1.Homeschooling began around high school.  2.  He lives at home with his adopted parents  on farm-like property on  15 acres 3.  He said that college was expensive and that recent  college graduates can't find employment.  Currently there is a $1.6 trillion outstanding debt from federal student loans from 42 million people.  More than 5 million of these borrowers have not made a payment in the past 360 days, are in default and an additional 4 million are in what is called “late stage delinquency.”  The New York Times, April 27, 2025.  3.  He is learning to be a phlebotomist.  4.  He has had one date in his life that occurred at a coffee shop.  He said he's afraid of girls.  5.  He has an iPhone 6. He has reading difficulties . 7.  Everything is expensive except the foods that are not  healthy .8. Both  of his parents passed by the time  he was 5 years of age.His older brother was also  adopted shortly by the same parents. There are other adoptees in the home .9. He voted for Trump . On a 1-10 scale  to measure being surprised  by Trump’s not following through on campaign promises  with 10 being   the most  surprised he said ,he’s   a number 6.  A lot of people are fed up with the Democrats and won’t vote .10. He attends  a Christian church and believes in Jesus .11. He began weight lifting at age 13 because he was skinny.14. He doesn’t pay for room and board but is responsible for the total costs associated with his car.

According to an article in the New York Times June 22, 2025 "There is a Way to Bring Back Childhood,"  stated excessive smart phone usage by children and adolescents has been associated with mental health problems, suicide, depression, bullying behavior ,reduced dating, less  marriage,  fewer having children, and a plethora of problems associated with cognitive decline. 

 In a Gen Z survey ,many young people felt trapped by Tik Tok ,Snap Chat  and other avenues in which nearly all the participants expressed regret about having access to many of the most popular social media platforms.  Many of these parents gave their children smart phones and social media access too early; wished that social media had never been vetted and hoped for new  external social norms, policies and restrictions.Too late mom, too late.

Our young  man has been subjected to homeschooling ,living in a rural area and primarily relying on parents and siblings for his socialization along with his electronic devices.  In other words, his world, his socialization ,outside family , and opportunities for interacting with others has been limited with  reliance  primarily on consuming technology.

 Electronics has interfered with the meeting of ego needs and have replaced humans for comfort,security,acceptance, permissiveness  and reduction of separation anxiety. His socialization has  been disrupted ,his experiences have  been limited in dealing with others, but instead  has tended to rely upon technology with all its  toxic  lies and misinformation. 

Essentially, the inorganic , became a transference on a “thing” that represents the human qualities of power,love, acceptance, knowledge,safety,connection  and expertise -the  emotional deficits he experienced early on . And, as a result these objects psychologically  artificially “provide “  him with those qualities .However, this technology  did not and does not endow him with human or realistic emotional experiences but instead , he relies on the consumption of technological and social media responses that are programed on the  statistical averages  of the algorithms along with preponderance of misinformation ,prejudice  and deceit provided by AI.

Also ,other emotional deficits pertain to him as he is lacking in the capacity and readiness for intimacy.  Currently, he is unable to commit to concrete affiliations , reciprocate, to please and receive affection ,to remain loyal and  to follow through despite many differences.   And, has been unable to face his female fears  at this point, to  engage in close affiliations, sexual unions and close friendships.  The inability to meet the ego need of affiliation experiences leads him to isolation , self absorption and reliance on the inorganic for comfort in order to reduce his separation anxieties..  Unfortunately, in order to engage, he has to overcome those psychic difficulties with humans whose essence, at this time , seems dangerous and counter intuitive to his own survival.

Cognitively speaking, a relevant article titled "Thinking Is Becoming a Luxury Good" was found in the August 3, 2025 edition of the New York Times.  The writer pointed out that smart phones are breeding a new kind of inequality that's bad for democracies. For instance, individuals are reading less and literacy scores have declined significantly.  Nearly half of Americans read zero books in 2023.

Important brain activity, found in the analytic left hemisphere is related to capacity for concentration, linear reasoning, deep critical thinking and executive functions which are severely and negatively associated with this technology.  Also,  rich kids spend less time on their screens compared to the poor kids which also places them in a better position to enter the knowledge intensive industries that focus on thinking, reasoning, and are associated with higher pay.  Another concern was that  this  cognitive dumbing down favors oligarchs that  easily manipulate our citizens with their contradictory double talk , simplistic , irrational  and  populist brain rot  messaging .Essentially “smart” phones and these Mega rich types  are propagating an  additional inequity that’s detrimental for cognitive and emotional development .

PS

Fromm, Erich.  Marx's Concept of Man.

Thom  Darden and I have been invited by the University of Michigan Alumni to host a webinar regarding Bo's Warriors.  The event is scheduled for August 16, a Sunday, at 1 PM Pacific coast time.  To register for the event 

https://umalumni.my.site.com/s/lt-event?id=a1QUS00000C3rAX2AZ