Thank You Mom Part 3

Seems to me that the task of optimum proper mothering requires a stable, reliable, trustworthy mother figure. What is the percentage of mothers that can bring these personality traits to the table? What if mothers themselves have been mothered with a terrible model so they themselves have not developed basic trust, and then how can they be expected to provide the necessary and important mothering techniques for their infant? It is clear that the amount of trust derived from earliest infantile experience does not seem to depend on absolute quantities of food or demonstrations of” love,” but rather on the quality of the maternal relationship.

Additionally, many unions between men and women fail, as evidenced by the high divorce rate. We know that individuals often marry for the wrong reasons. In a failed or troubled union, becoming pregnant and having a child does not provide the fix or solution. It’s no wonder that so many of our children, through no fault of their own, start out with at least two strikes based on ineffective mothering.

Two psychodynamic defense mechanisms during this critical developmental stage include projection and introjection. In introjection, we experience and act as if an outer goodness has become an inner certainty or an outer “badness” has become an inner certainty. While in projection, we experience an inner harm as an outer one. As a result, we can endow significant people with an evil that is actually within us. With this being the case, the use of reason and rationality is compromised. In other words, crises pertaining to love, trust and faith can characterize irrational attitudes toward adversaries and enemies in many “normal” individuals. Unfortunately, there are many who profess faith, yet express mistrust in life and in man.   The diagnosis of depression is one outcome. Yes, mistrust is all too common in our society.