Just think,
while in high school and living in the Palo Alto area, about the importance of
education and the pressure in being admitted to the most prestigious
university. Each individual has their
own aspiration, ranking system within their own milieu. Being first or the top
of your class can be a success. However, coming in lower can be a failure with
a mighty blow as to self-esteem. In sports, being ranked as a five-star athlete
or being ranked as a three star athlete can also be problematic.
Employing an example of a family or brother,
competitive ranking from the NBA, can be made by comparing the younger brother
Seth Curry with older brother Stephen Curry. How does this younger brother measure
up in basketball aspirations and his degree of self-esteem to MVP, and world
champion brother Stephen? The answer is
obvious. Seth can’t compete or dominate as a professional basketball player as
his brother. Seth’s frustration, negative hostile feelings and fear of failure
are part of his self-esteem. His ideal is based on reaching Stephan’s
unbelievable skill and achievement. That’s an example of a bar being set in the
stratosphere and impossible to master or meet. Seth’s attitude of self is very
different than his older brother. Likewise, his confidence is also very
different. On the other hand Stephan’s high self-esteem and tremendous
confidence go hand-in-hand. Further, he’s handled his fear of failure
remarkably well. Likewise, this 30-year-old superstar is likable, as well as
humble.
Rankings,
polls, discussions about dynasties are frequent in the many radio and TV
programs related to sports. Who was the greatest coach, quarterback, basketball
player, team etc. gets replayed over and over. Further, the tendency to
diminish or minimize loss or failure to self-esteem is great because of the
unpleasantness of anxiety, along with all the negatives which are detrimental self-appraisals.
In essence, one’s reference group can have an unbelievable high bar. A high bar
can affect one’s level of aspiration and the probability of success. Success
and performance breeds success, while poor performance or failure breeds
despair, unworthiness and feelings of being inferior. As life is filled with experiences,
and experience affects one’s perception of oneself, we carry our self-esteem to
the grave.
To Be
Continued
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